Do Snails Need Doulas?

#SilentSunday

2012-02-05T13:54:00.000-05:00

My favourite January photos

2012-02-01T21:27:00.001-05:00

For those not following my 366 photoblog, I thought I'd post my favourite photos of the month here! So here is my selection of favourite pictures from January. If you want to see them all, head on over to my other blog here!

#Silent Sunday

2012-01-23T00:25:00.001-05:00

One month on...

2012-01-09T18:36:00.000-05:00

Tyler is one month old tomorrow! How time flies.

I could make this post all about breastfeeding. I am hugely proud of the fact that I have managed to establish breastfeeding this time round. Some of you know I really struggled with Thomas (as I spoke about here), and I then struggled with the guilt of not having breastfed him… I can honestly say that now I have managed to breastfeed, I am totally over any residual guilt I felt about Thomas! Tyler had a great latch from the outset (unlike Thomas) and I still really struggled in the first few weeks. The first week was hell as my milk didn't truly kick in until day 4 and this 10lb 3oz baby jumped out of the womb screaming for milk! I hibernated and stayed in bed with Tyler for three days (thank you wonderful midwives for insisting I must!), breastfeeding hurt and it was constant. It is still pretty constant but it doesn't hurt any more. My nipples were cracked and sore but never bled like they did with Thomas. This time round I had a lot of people to talk to and I was psychologically prepared for it being hard and constant, and still, it was harder than I had ever imagined, and I'd already been through it once! I think without Soothies, breast shields, Lansinoh and My Brest Friend, I would have given up. But I didn't! Go me :)

This time round I didn't get the 'baby blues' like I had with Thomas. I was very fortunate for my Mum & Dad to be around for the first week as well as David. My Mum did everything for me; washing, cooking, cleaning, and helped in so many ways that I will be eternally grateful for. Dad was around to entertain Thomas, which was great, especially when David went out. I was so sad when they had to leave but thankfully this time round I had recovered from the birth and felt I could manage (with Thomas she left after three days as Christmas was fast approaching and I was so unprepared for her leaving!). David made me breakfast in bed every day and looked after Thomas. Antonette took my placenta and made it into capsules for me to take each day to balance the hormones… I was completely cared for and had a brilliant babymoon.[except for the painful boobs!]

It seems my hormonal surges come in the form of feeling extreme guilt towards Thomas. So much time is spent nursing and I struggled with how little time I had left for Thomas. He has adapted so well and loves his baby brother so much. I am incredibly lucky to have such a loving son and his reaction to Tyler has made the transition to a family of four so much easier. I just have my moments where I feel guilty that he didn't ask for his world to be changed so completely. He was quite happy to be the centre of attention for his Mummy and Daddy! I know he wouldn't change it for the world and I am the one who feels guilty, not because of anything Thomas has said or done, just because it's my way of dealing with the shock of introducing another person to our family!

The actual part about having a new baby is easy! Been there, done that. Cloth nappies are back in action, the Ergo is out, the exercise ball is getting used more now than during pregnancy, the Tummy Tub is in use. Tyler is like a mini-Thomas and freakily looks so similar sometimes. I still find myself calling him Thomas occasionally!

So, one month on… David has gone back to work, my boobs finally don't hurt, Tyler is thriving, Thomas is beautiful, I'm very tired from 4pm until bedtime, and then through the night if Tyler doesn't sleep! We're getting out a bit more and I'm feeling more confident about being a mummy of two…

If I'm being completely honest, I love it. This is what I was born to do :)

Happy holidays everyone!

2011-12-26T14:43:00.000-05:00

Tyler's birth part 2 - the accidental, unassisted birth!

2011-12-23T14:44:00.002-05:00

You can read part 1 of Tyler's birth story here.

Thomas was born ten days 'late' on December 19th 2008. By my estimations I reckoned he was due around the 16th, but being a first-time Mum and not appreciating how much importance was placed on that date, I never argued with the midwives when they selected the date based on the 12 week ultrasound. It was only when we reached that date that I realised what a mistake that had been. Although willing to listen to my requests for no mention of sweeps or induction, I began to get pressured into agreeing to growth scans and was told that I only had two weeks and then my home birth request would not be granted. Two weeks took me to Christmas Eve, which I'm sure helped them decide to go off call for me :) Luckily for me, I went into labour on the 19th.

This time round I decided I wouldn't take too much notice of the 'due date'. I didn't tell many people what the date was, I had just decided that my baby would most likely be born in mid-December. Officially the UK date was set (via ultrasound) to December 10th; unofficially by my estimations I put myself closer to the 14th, and this is what my brilliant midwives agreed to.

As mentioned in part one, Thomas began to get more loving and more clingy towards me in the week before Tyler was born. I was very uncomfortable in my ribs and woke up a lot at night. I didn't want to believe something might be happening, because I knew how impatient I had become with Thomas! I also wanted to relish in the simplicity of our life as a family of three. More and more I was beginning to remember how much of a life change having Thomas was, and I just wanted to hold on to our life of peaceful evenings and family dinners for a little bit longer!

Mum and dad arrived on December 6th so we had a few days to take them around Frederick and introduce Mum to Target :)

On December 9th I woke up feeling crampy. With Thomas I had thought I was in labour two days before he was born which turned into nothing so I wasn't going to get excited this time round. We decided to go to downtown Frederick for the morning and by the time we got home, I was more convinced that things were happening although I wasn't in any pain. The cramping feeling started to feel more contraction-like around mid-afternoon but it still wasn't painful and I knew this kind of feeling could last for hours or days so at 6pm we went to the local Italian for dinner. I'd told David contractions were every ten minutes or so and got him to download an app on his IPhone as I was starting to get curious about the timings. We looked at the readings around half an hour later… 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes… oh, maybe something was definitely happening! We came home and as my Dad went to bed, his parting words were "this baby isn't coming tonight".

I went upstairs to kiss Thomas goodnight and told him that when he woke up, his baby brother might have arrived. He was very excited! I took out my gifts from my Glasgow Blessingway, my bracelet and labyrinth and crystals and lit the candle my good friend Caroline had given me. I got in the bath around 9.30pm. The contractions were the same but I just felt like having a break and knew this early on that they would most likely stop. I was OK with that, I just really wanted a bath!

[very weird for me as I don't like baths!]

As anticipated, everything stopped. I got out and sent a message to Nannette (midwife!) to tell her that things were progressing but I still had a way to go so I was going to bed to rest. Off I went at 10.30pm.

I woke up at 11.15pm. The contractions were stronger now and I was having to breathe through them. They were still erratic though, varying from 6-8 minutes, never any shorter. David wanted to phone the midwives but I was sure it was too soon. We were lying in bed, me on all fours, breathing into the pillow each time a contraction came. I held Davids' hand. He stroked my back. Then I cried. I remember thinking "I've got hours to go, how can I do this?" (ummmm, hello transition!). It hurt but the gap between contractions made it OK. Thomas's labour had been ten hours of unrelenting back labour, with wave upon wave of contractions. This was so different.

Just after midnight a pretty painful contraction hit. David insisted on calling Nannette even though I was still unsure. She said she would come over and would be about 45 minutes.

A couple of minutes later, another big contraction came and POP went my waters! I ran to the bathroom, shouting at David "My waters just broke! Wake up my Mum!". The next part is a blur. I was sat on the toilet and felt this incredible urge to push. I got off the toilet and squatted by the sink, moaning and panting, trying desperately not to have this baby. This was an absolutely perfect example of the fetal ejection reflex at work! David was putting the futon mattress down on the floor in the bedroom (nothing like being prepared in case of a quick labour!), my Mum was next to me saying "don't push, don't push", I put my hand down and I could feel the top of the baby's head poking out. I held onto it (haha, what a sight!) and waddled to the mattress and kneeled with my head on the bed. Another contraction came and I couldn't stop it, I told my Mum I was going to be sick, but out came the head instead. There was no pain at this point, that had stopped as soon as my waters broke. I felt so calm, so in control, I could feel everything. David looked down to see if he could see anything and said "the head's out!", whoops, seemed I'd forgotten to mention that! The next couple of minutes were incredible. I felt a movement and shouted at David to stop touching the baby! "I'm not!" he said. Then again, another movement - "DON'T touch him!", "I'm not!!". A few seconds later, and out came Tyler, into his daddy's hands, 12.48am - maybe twenty minutes since my waters broke. He had been moving himself, rotating his shoulders and turning in the birth canal, and I felt every single part of that journey. David passed him to me, through my legs, and I held him to my chest. My perfect baby, 10lb 3oz, 21.5 inches. My perfect birth. On his official 'due date', the day of the lunar eclipse AND a full moon. I am blown away.

The placenta came away very quickly, maybe 5-10 minutes later, and we saw the true knot in his umbilical cord. Tyler was already breastfeeding when Liz (midwife!) turned up five minutes later. I couldn't stop apologising, I was so sad that after all these months they had missed out on the birth! Liz just looked at me and said, "this birth happened exactly as it was meant to". I know she was right and I am so grateful they were there just after Tyler was born, to check him and to check me, and that they were there on the phone with David, telling him what to do while my Mum sat with me. Their help and support and aftercare were invaluable and I love them :)

My dad was downstairs waiting for the midwife when he heard the cries of a newborn baby :)

Thomas slept through the whole thing…

Tyler's birth part 1 - setting the scene

2011-12-20T13:50:00.001-05:00

Everyone knows I'm pretty obsessed with all things pregnancy and birth. I spoke about it here, and it stems from Thomas's birth here. It led me on my path to becoming a doula and has resulted in me meeting some of the most amazing, interesting women who have shared my passion, increased my yearning for knowledge, and empowered me as a woman and a mother.

So, why do I need to start this story with that? It's taken me a while to really process what happened that day, and I'm sure that Tyler's birth happened the way it happened because I've been lucky enough to learn so much about birth...

Or maybe just because precipitous 2nd/3rd labours run in the family :)

I decided early on in this pregnancy that I wanted the minimal amount of interference this time round. The first battle came with the NHS midwives who got twitchy at the fact that I had birthed a 'big baby' last time and set me on a road of growth scans, gestational diabetes checking and constant monitoring. All this even though I had an uncomplicated labour and delivery with my 'big' first born. Lucky for me I knew I was leaving the UK so agreed to everything they said, took my notes and left Glasgow a few days later!

My knowledge of birth in the US up to this point was limited to websites such as Birth Without Fear, Mama Birth and the Unnecesarean, and I had hurriedly switched off One Born Every Minute US 10 minutes into the first episode. I thought the birth system in the UK had problems but, my goodness, the US was a whole new kettle of fish! Next I learnt that different states had different laws regarding the use of midwives as opposed to obstetricians. I knew I wanted a home birth and luckily we were moving to a state where home birth wasn't illegal. Coming from a country where every woman has the right to birth at home, I was amazed that such restrictions were still commonplace in a country the size of the US. So, you can legally birth at home in the state of Maryland... But only if you have a doctor or nurse midwife present. My next learning curve - there are different 'types' of midwives and the type of midwife who most frequently attends homebirths (a certified professional midwife CPM) is NOT licensed to legally attend a homebirth in Maryland. Lucky for me, through the power of the internet, I was informed of a couple of midwives who would be prepared to come to a home birth and I arranged to meet with them as soon as we arrived in the US.

I was so nervous about what to expect and went to 'interview' my potential midwives with a list of "please don't do these things to me". I could feel myself physically and emotionally relax as I went through my list and Liz looked at me, smiled and said, "well, of course we won't do that". I met Nannette the next day and her responses were the same and before I knew it, my prenatal care and home birth plan were sorted and I could focus on the enormity of moving to a foreign country rather than stressing about hospital birth and unsympathetic doctors!

My experience with the midwives and their assistants at Riverside Midwifery in Charles Town was like nothing I had ever come across in the UK. Liz, Nannette, Zaina, Shanna and Antonette made every appointment seem special. They never rushed anything, they were always willing to discuss anything and everything, and they all seemed genuinely excited as the weeks ticked by and December approached. I had a great pregnancy and felt at peace and excited as well as I waited for my Mum & Dad to arrive, praying that the baby would wait too!

Thomas was also getting excited as he had been told for months that when the weather turned cold, the leaves fell off the trees and Grandma & Grandad arrived, then his baby brother would be ready to come out and meet him...

In the last week of pregnancy, it was almost as if he sensed something was happening. He became much more clingy, very loving and he would stroke my belly and ask if his baby brother was coming yet. Little did we know how soon that would be!

You can find part two HERE.

Christmas card photo - two weeks to go! (Yes, it really was warm enough for t-shirts at the end of November!)

Little did I realise but this was taken the morning of the day I went into labour! I was moaning about getting too pregnant for pregnant clothes :)

Tyler's cord knot

2011-12-15T16:13:00.000-05:00

As mentioned on Tyler's birth announcement, he had a true knot in his umbilical cord. My lovely friend Antonette did a placental encapsulation and dried the cord for me as a keepsake.

Here's a before and after photo for all those interested... :)

Tyler

2011-12-11T10:45:00.000-05:00

Tyler Charles Welch was born into his daddy's arms (with Grandma on standby) at 12.48am on December 10th 2011. 10lb 3oz, 21.5 inches, with a true knot in his cord! Everything happened so quick in the end, the midwives arrived 20 minutes later!

Birth story to follow...

We're all a bit smitten :)

Thomas and the Christmas tree!

2011-12-01T10:47:00.000-05:00

It's December! This means many many things...

1. The baby is coming!
2. My parents are coming!
3. Thomas turns three!
4. It's Christmas!

We are getting into the Christmas spirit in the Welch household and so up went the Christmas tree. It's not spectacular. It's actually a bit crap. I guess that's what you get for spending £15 in Ikea rather than $150+ here! But I don't care, because this year, for the first year, I got to decorate my tree with my baby, and he was so excited it made me want to cry a little bit!

And yes, brilliant lovely Scottish doula friends, my bauble is up! Bring on the baby!

[excuse the baggy clothing, 39 weeks pregnant and comfortable clothes are the only way to go!]

#SilentSunday

2011-11-27T17:39:00.001-05:00

Little Photos From Little Fingers

2011-11-22T16:14:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by the lovely Jenny from Mummy Mishaps in a meme looking at the photo-taking abilities of the little people in our lives. Instead of explaining in great detail, I'll let the photos taken by the very very talented Thomas, speak for themselves :)

Where do I look?

Baby brother!

Silly mummy

My foot is so beautiful...

Daddy is on the IPad again

Cheese!

Cheese daddy!

They really ARE beautiful feet!

Mr scarecrow

Mummy, daddy and the snowman on mummy's birthday!

Leaves are fun

The trees are losing their leaves which means my baby brother is coming!

Mummy, WHAT are you doing?!

To be fair to Thomas, I've got more photos of me with a bump than would exist without his snapping away! AND he takes better photos than his daddy...

If you want to take part, get your photos up and link back to Mamasaurus here!

Five Things My Almost Three Year Old Says That I NEVER Will...

2011-11-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

The lovely Jenny at Mummy Mishaps has tagged me in a post and seeing as this NEVER happens to me, I'm just going to have to take part! So, here are five things Thomas says which I don't think I ever will...

1. Wake up, it's morning time!

2. I've got a baby girl growing in MY tummy. Baby girls don't cry.

3. I'm just getting the porridge out of my nose...

4. It's just Mickey Mouse Wunderhaus Mummy (asking why Thomas is watching MM Clubhouse in German on YouTube on the IPad)

5. Porn Cops, Porn Cops! (asking what Thomas wants for breakfast - think he might mean Corn Pops!)

So would you like to take part?

The rules are simple and they are as follows:

Come up with 5 things that your 2, 3, 4, 5 or even 18 year old says that you never say....it can even be things that your husband says. If your baby doesn't yet speak then you can make them up based on what you think they would say if they could speak. Then tag others to do the same

Then please link up your post to The Crazy Kitchen linky here.

#SilentSunday

2011-11-12T21:40:00.003-05:00

11/11/11 A day in the life of Lindsey and Thomas...

2011-11-11T17:07:00.000-05:00

LINDSEY:

Brrr! It's a cold day in Frederick today. The leaves have really fallen off the trees.

We stayed in waiting for the midwives to arrive for our home visit (only 3 more weeks until they go on call!). Thomas had his usual reaction to seeing the camera...

Midwives came and went, ate pizza for lunch, then we took the balance bike to the park for a playdate with some new friends.

Freezing cold, came home, curled up with raspberry leaf tea and Fireman Sam.

THOMAS:

Brrrr, a cold day! I don't like slippers. How does this camera work?

Daddy stayed home while mummy had a visit from the midwives. The leaves are falling off the trees and Mummy says when they have all gone, my baby brother will come! I want to meet him now. His name is... (shhhh Thomas, it's a secret!). Sorry. How does this camera work?

The midwives left and Daddy went to work. We ate pizza and I sat on the big stool.

Then we went to meet my new friend at the playground. I love my balance bike! It was very cold but I don't like gloves. My new friend was wearing his winter coat AND gloves AND a scarf AND a hat. I don't need all those things, I'm from Glasgow! I made Mummy carry my bike some of the way home because I was tired. She's like superwoman, carrying me and the bike and my helmet. I love her and think she looks FAB for 8 months pregnant....

[OK, maybe he didn't *quite* say that, but I'm allowed to use a bit of artistic licence on my own blog :D]

8 months...

2011-11-08T16:42:00.000-05:00

T is for...

2011-11-01T23:15:00.000-04:00

I've not done the Gallery for a while as my timing is a little off now we're in the US! This week I can't resist though, with the prompt of "the letter T", how could I not post?!

T is for... Thomas. Of course, it could only be Thomas! Or maybe trees. Thomas AND trees?

#SilentSunday

2011-10-30T10:25:00.003-04:00

Moving photos - before & after!

2011-10-25T14:56:00.000-04:00

It's been two months since we moved to Maryland. Two months! Sometimes it seems like we've been here for longer and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I'm settling slowly. I still don't really know many people but we're in more of a routine and that really helps. I'm trying to get out and about while I still can - only six weeks until my 'due date' and I'm starting to slow down...

I think I can relax a bit now the nursery is done. All Thomas's old clothes are washed, cloth nappies are clean, Ergobaby is fixed and ready, birth kit is prepared. Bring it on!

So, here is a small insight into some of the things we've managed to do in the last couple of months.

The house was hidden by the trees, it was so dark inside and looked so sad from the outside.

The family room - I still call it a lounge! It's so nice to have a space that isn't shared with Thomas's toys (well, sometimes anyway...).

The guest bedroom - luckily only one wall was papered!

Guest bedroom 2 - it feels so grown up to have a guest room!

The master bedroom - complete for now but looking a little bare! I want a chaise longue so if you see a turquoise one on offer anywhere, let me know!

The formal dining room became Thomas's playroom! It's just off the kitchen so really close to the family 'hub'.

The front living room - check out the darkness from the tree! This has become the room where the oddments of furniture go. We'll figure out what to do with it one day...

Thomas's room. It's so nice for him to have his own room for the first time!

The baby room. We never had one of these before either! We're planning on co-sleeping so it wasn't essential to do but now I feel I can hibernate a bit...

There you have it! Our beautiful house! It's a bit of a change from the two bedroom tenement flat we had in Glasgow. It's easier to keep tidy but harder to furnish as you need so many more things! It really feels like home though and that has helped me settle, and I'm sure it has helped Thomas too.

Possibly the BEST thing about it? No more alcoholic @rsehole upstairs neighbour!!! :D

Baltimore (+ the marathon)

2011-10-16T02:00:00.000-04:00

Baltimore was the first city I ever visited in the US. Ten years ago, only months into my first 'proper' job as a forensic DNA researcher, I got the opportunity to go to a conference there. It was my first trip abroad on my own and I stayed for a few days, taking the MARC train to Washington DC and doing the tourist trail. Little did I know at the time that ten years later I would be walking down the same streets with my husband, son and growing bump - a resident of the US!

This weekend we went on a trip to Baltimore, our closest city, for David to take part in the marathon. That is a whole other post which he should write for himself, but he did it, and I was very proud. I will blame the baby hormones for the immense pride and large number of tears I shed :)

And you know something freaky? I can't wait to start running again...

Here are some photos from our trip!

Singing

2011-10-12T14:15:00.000-04:00

When I was pregnant with Thomas, I had a 'womb' song for him. It was Rule the World by Take That (anyone surprised?!). What I discovered soon after he was born was that he hated it. Even now, if I start to sing it, I'm most often met with "No Mummy, stop. Stop singing".

Whoops. So all that cute foetal kicking was actually unborn Thomas telling me he hated the sound of my warbling tones. And there was me thinking I was quite good...

Now daddy. Daddy is a different matter altogether. When daddy sings it is HILARIOUS. Mind you, he was singing the theme song to the Beverley Hillbillies at the time...

It's safe to say that Baby Welch II hasn't been subjected to a womb song. Although Take That "The Flood" features quite often in my sing-out-loud car journeys. I fear I'm imprinting on my kids to hate Take That before they're even born...

#SilentSunday

2011-10-09T15:35:00.000-04:00

Approaching 7 months...

2011-10-01T13:12:00.000-04:00

#SilentSunday

2011-09-24T22:00:00.004-04:00

Maryland Families for Safe Birth

2011-09-22T11:52:00.000-04:00

Maryland Families for Safe Birth is a Non-Profit grass-roots organization, working to legalize and license Certified Professional Midwives in Maryland. Their goal is to make out of hospital birth safe by allowing Maryland women access to Certified Professional Midwives. These midwives are the only health care provider who specialize in Out-of-Hospital maternity care. 26 states across our country recognize CPM's as medical professionals and license them in their state. In these states, women who choose Out-of-Hospital Birth have outcomes that are as safe as those who choose hospital birth.

Many women are forced to cross state lines or deliver at home without a Midwife because of lack of Home Birth and Birth Center Midwives. MFSB believe every family in Maryland has the right to have access to a licensed midwife when planning an Out-of- Hospital Birth. They are drafting a bill to go before the state legislature in January of 2012 that will request the legalizing of CPM's in Maryland. They ask you to sign this petition to demonstrate your support of such a bill.

So I signed a petition to The Maryland State House and The Maryland State Senate, which says:

"Legalize Certified Professional Midwives in Maryland."

PLEASE sign this petition today! Let’s legalize the midwives we love so much and invite more midwives to practice in Maryland bringing women and families MORE choice!

CLICK HERE TO SIGN PETITION

Thanks!

Settling in

2011-09-20T21:15:00.011-04:00

The weather has started to cool down a bit, Thomas is going to preschool twice a week, the carpet finally got laid and I am starting to feel a bit more settled.

There is still a lot to do on the house so that will be a later blog post, but it feels like home and it's a whole world away from our two-bedroom tenement in Glasgow! Unsurprisingly I have never once missed the alcoholic woman-hater who lived upstairs! I do miss my life in Glasgow, the familiarity of everyone and everything and the routine, but I don't miss having to get up and go to work and I don't miss the weather! I guess there will always be pros and cons to everything we do in life.

This is the little bugger which stung me and gave me cellulitis for two days! It still sits on the window and looks in at me...

I miss my mum more than anything in the world. Through the brilliance of the Internet I can talk and/or text her every day but come 6pm here, the UK goes to sleep. I had promised myself that I wouldn't spend my evenings mindlessly surfing the Internet, I would take up a hobby again like cross-stitch, or read a book. As you can guess, that hasn't happened yet! I will I will I will. Before this baby is born, I will do a cross-stitch. I have two ready and waiting!

Thomas loves it here. He hasn't developed an accent, yet... I'm sure it's coming, slowly but surely the "Mom" and "Gee" and "Can I go potty" will creep up on me, but for now he is still the cute English boy who pronounces 'water' as 'war-ter' and calls me Mummy. He is making friends at school and loves the weekends and early evenings with Daddy. He tells me he loves me a lot, so I'll assume he likes his time with me too!

Most days he talks happily about his baby brother and always asks if he is coming out yet. Then some days he decides he doesn't like him and he doesn't want to share his toys. Oh dear...

David loves it too. He doesn't need to tell me, he is just a different person here. He smiles more and is home more and work, although important, finishes at 5.30pm. Amazing!

It's incredible the things I find myself missing, or the things which they don't seem to have here which I find amazing - like bedmats! Thomas sometimes has accidents at night so bedmats are brilliant as it means he doesn't have to wear a nappy (sorry, diaper) but they don't exist here! Moroccan spice mix, a staple in my dried spice cupboard, doesn't exist in the main supermarkets - apparently Moroccan food is not a popular influence here. I can get a lot of Japanese food though, which kind of makes up for it! [And the thoughtful, tear-inducing food parcel sent from my lovely friend Lisa]. Other, 'better' things... the iced tea is fab, Thomas has discovered a love of Mac & cheese (macaroni cheese here is a totally different experience!), and the Fall season on TV... This week is the beginning of the Fall TV season. Everything, EVERYTHING, starts this week. I could watch TV all night, every night, Monday thru Friday (how American of me!). As it is I'll settle for the Vampire Diaries, Glee, Greys Anatomy, Hawaii-5-0 (oh Alex McLoughlin, could you be any better looking?), and many many more...

And me? I'm getting there slowly... We went to a meeting of the Maryland Families for Safe Birth organisation this weekend. Their mission is to legalise the use of professional midwives in the state of Maryland. It is currently legal for a woman to have an out-of-hospital birth, but illegal for a professional midwife to attend. It's a whole different birthing world over here and I have a lot to learn! I met some lovely people though and felt more content that I can find my 'place' over here, there are other natural birth, cloth diaper loving, people around! I also won a placenta encapsulation in the raffle and talked to my probable post-natal doula!

So we're getting ready for Autumn. The pumpkin patches and corn mazes all open soon, the shops are all full of Hallowe'en goodies (I feel that will be a whole post of its' own!) and it's time to plant the spring bulbs in the garden and reseed the lawn (proper grown ups!).

I'll be glad when the weather cools down a bit. My limited summer wardrobe is looking tired and I'm pretty sure I've got many more cold weather maternity clothes :) Haha, David will think I'm crazy for wishing away the warm weather! The leaves are falling off the trees though and I can feel Autumn in the air and I LOVE Autumn!

#SilentSunday

2011-09-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

#SilentSunday

2011-09-11T12:52:00.000-04:00

Six months...

2011-09-06T21:37:00.000-04:00

It's a long weekend!

2011-09-04T21:56:00.001-04:00

It's Labor Day weekend, which means for the first time in a long time David will get a holiday Monday where he doesn't have to work! Incredible. Shame we need to work on the house rather than go out and have fun...

Thomas had fun today making new friends. It makes me happy when he is happy :)

Painting

2011-09-02T11:15:00.001-04:00

Thomas decided he wanted to try his hand at painting the other day so we bought a Cat in the Hat painting book, went home and sat down with a brush and a bowl of water...

It seems the days of Thomas getting upset at having dirty hands / arms are over! Oh dear :)

Earthquakes, hurricanes... welcome to Maryland!

2011-08-29T22:21:00.003-04:00

Where to start? With the incredible wrench of leaving my Mum?! Or the total shock of the heat? Or the earthquake, followed by the hurricane… Welcome to Maryland Lindsey and Thomas! Not to mention leaving Glasgow a month before Brad Pitt arrives to film his new movie, bahhhhhh humbug!

Excuse the blogging hiatus but we are still running on temporary Wifi which doesn’t work very well and all the running around has been tiring me out!

We arrived two weeks ago now and I think I’m starting to find my feet. Our house is beautiful but nowhere near unpacked and there is a lot to do. Thomas is having an incredible time! He sleeps all night in his own room, even before it has anything but a mattress in it! (waiting on carpets upstairs…). Every morning he comes running in to me – “Mummy, Mummy, it’s morning-time! It’s morning-time!”. It just makes my heart melt to see him so happy.

There are bugs galore but most of them hidden and/or small, like stink bugs and mole crickets, some are more eek-worthy, like the mantis on the front door the other morning…

I can now drive on the other side of the road! There are outlet malls and strip malls and BIG shops around, as well as the historic downtown Frederick which has an amazing library and a brilliant toy shop, along with restaurants and coffee shops and museums and a canal (I might do more of a post on downtown, I think we will spend a lot of time there!).

I’ve done some research and found day trips for all of us, pumpkin patches and giant corn mazes, farm visits, hay rides (maybe not for me, being allergic to hay and all), science centres, zoos and the upcoming Dora Live at the Frederick Theatre! Plenty of fun to be had if we can sort the house and buy a car and get social security numbers and a driving licence and a transformer (of the electricity variety, not a robot) and get my head around all of the possible UK substitute foods. I mean seriously, no cordial?! The powdered stuff just isn’t doing it for me! And why does everything have sugar / maple syrup added to it? Why can’t I just buy baked beans? Why are they filled with bacon and maple syrup or brown sugar and other vegetables?! My UK Malteser supply is dwindling (if you know me and know my address, please feel free to send Maltesers, Oxo cubes and Moroccan spice mix… I would be eternally grateful!). The vegetables are amazingly fresh though and the choice is sometimes overwhelming but brilliant. There are pros and cons to everything!

I found a midwife, well two actually, and feel incredibly lucky to be able to plan a home birth in a country with an extremely medicalised view of pregnancy and labour. I love the fact that my list of “I do not want X, Y and Z” was met with “well we would never do that a standard anyway”. I have my first official prenatal appointment this week and feel that this pregnancy has so far been brilliant! I haven’t suffered from any of the aches and pains I had with Thomas, no carpal tunnel syndrome, no swollen legs and painful feet, less weight gain… I don’t know if it’s because I am more relaxed about it all this time or whether it’s because I don’t have to get up and go to work every day! I am getting more tired as the weeks go on (25 and counting!) and am getting bigger and less able to do things, but I feel really well! Oh, and in case you missed it, it’s a boy!

So much to tell and I will try and get better at updating and taking photos. It was a big shock to leave my parents and come here and I really struggled for the first week. I’m getting better, I miss my Mum every day, but there is email and Skype and the world is a much smaller place than it once was.

This week we will venture to the 2-5 year old storytime at the library and see if we meet any new friends. This is the one part lacking so far, but mainly due to not getting out and meeting people. There are so many things that need sorting out so friendship has been low on my priority list for the time being. People are so friendly and so willing to chat, so I just need to put on a big smiley Lindsey face and be brave. If I can remember how!

:)

Bear with me, move in progress!

2011-08-17T22:19:00.000-04:00

Please excuse the blogging hiatus. We are currently mid-move, meaning I am struggling with the reality of moving to another country, sorting out our things, buying new things, making sure Thomas is OK, thinking up midwife interview questions, and all the rest of it. I’ll write soon. In the meantime, David and Thomas worked hard today in the 34 degree heat whilst our sea shipment was being delivered to the new house…

Growing up

2011-08-05T10:13:00.000-04:00

He's tall. He is very independent. He likes to play with other children. He is toilet trained and sleeps all night (mostly!).

He talks a lot, says 'No' a lot, likes Pixar movies and playing on the IPad.

He uses a fork to eat, sits on a chair, sleeps in a bed, hates going shopping and screams when he gets a haircut...

But sometimes, just sometimes, he is still just my baby. Soft and small and sweet and beautiful, and oh my goodness how I love him!

BIRTH

2011-08-03T03:00:00.042-04:00

Why am I so obsessed with birth? As a doula, I’m allowed to admit that I am – I am TOTALLY obsessed with all things pregnancy, labour and birth.

Mum with Mark (and her magnificent beehive!)

For as long as I can remember, every year on our birthdays, my Mum has retold our birth stories. That means, for as long as I can remember, I have been told four birth stories a year. All of the births were very different, starting with my brother Mark, when my Mum was just twenty years old. She went into labour but didn’t want to miss the Beatles on TV so held off until after the show. She was then left alone in a hospital room to labour, no partner, no parents, just Mum and an occasional midwife. She was very scared and didn't know what was going on but she never made any complaint - that was how birth was in the 60s - and she always told the tale with excitement and love for this first baby.

Mum & Dad with Nicholas (nice turtleneck dad!)

Nick was a long awaited baby; born three years after Mum & Dad started trying. Early in her second trimester, Mum was told that she had contracted Rubella in early pregnancy and she may not keep the baby. She had to have continual scans every couple of weeks while they checked the development of the baby until being given the all-clear around 18 weeks. Late in pregnancy Mum was given a routine internal examination by her consultant – a man with the “boniest fingers” she’d ever felt – who hurt her and made her bleed. In hospital they suspected a low-lying placenta for which she was whipped into surgery and checked, being told that she would either come out of it with a C-section or her waters broken, depending on whether the placenta was there or not. Mum was convinced it was the consultant who had done something to her and Nick was born five hours after they broke her waters.

Mum and Chris (and Sheba. And some nice flares)

Chris was an unexpected surprise when Nick was only a few months old. Having had difficulties to conceive, my parents didn’t think a second one would come so easily :) Mum had high blood pressure in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy and was put on hospital bedrest. In hospital she again had a routine internal examination, where the doctor chuckled and told her he’d just given her a little ‘twiddle’ with his magic fingers... That night Mum woke up at midnight with a massive pain. One minute later she had another. Another minute, another pain. The nurse on call was chatting up the doctor on shift and wouldn’t believe that she was in labour. She eventually gave her an enema (as was routine practice) and as Mum was on the toilet, the baby started to crown. She was whipped into the delivery suite quick smart and Dad missed the birth (not helped by aforementioned nurse failing to call him as she hadn’t believed Mum was in labour). Chris was born 50 minutes after that first contraction.

Then there was me. Mum was in hospital for the last month of pregnancy with high blood pressure. I wasn’t growing and she was on strict bed rest. She was let out just before my due date then five days later went into early labour – the only labour where she was sick in the early stages. After Chris’s dramatic entrance, they rushed into hospital and everything stopped. Dad went home, a foetal monitor was attached and she was told the baby was in distress. “Nonsense” my Mum replied, “there is nothing wrong with my baby” :) They told her she had been in labour too long and would have to go on the drip. After Dad had missed my brothers’ birth, Mum refused to move until he turned up. She was put on a drip at 2.30pm and I was born two hours later… “Have you thought of a name?” asked the midwife, “Lindsey” Mum replied, “What if it’s a boy?”…

“If it’s a boy, you can push it back”.

Mum and Me!

These are the stories of my childhood, teenage years and now adulthood. I love hearing the stories, all of them so different, all of them so filled with excitement and love. No traumatic, horrible birth stories for me. I was brought up believing that birth hurt like hell but was something that had to be done because the minute that baby came out, the pain was totally forgotten.

From L-R: Chris, Mum, Me and Nick

When I became pregnant with Thomas, I had all of these stories swimming around my head. I craved knowledge of all things labour and birth. I was so excited! I did yoga and Hypnobirthing and read and read and read. I wanted a home birth. I didn’t want this, I did want that. I researched EVERYTHING. I knew about everything. What I didn’t know was that even with all the knowledge in the world, labour and birth is something beyond your control, to an extent.

First photo of Thomas :)

I had a brilliant labour and birth with Thomas, supported by my beloved husband and my amazing mother, and it was an empowering, magical experience. I would do it again in a second. Good job too, seeing as I’ll be doing it again in December!

Hello Grandma! Where am I? I'm scared!

It wasn’t ‘perfect’, it didn’t all go according to ‘the plan’, and this is what I have since learnt. Ditch the plan, have a list of birth preferences. If there is anything you feel really strongly about, put it in BIG LETTERS. Here are my thoughts for my next list of birth preferences:

DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER TALKING TO ME ABOUT INDUCTION.
DO NOT TOUCH MY VAGINA.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES CUT THE CORD.

I’ll keep you posted on how well I stick to them :)

This post was written for week 68 of The Gallery, hosted by Tara at Sticky Fingers. The theme was "birth" so I couldn't resist!

#SilentSunday

2011-07-31T10:47:00.000-04:00

Acclimatisation?

2011-07-28T16:43:00.000-04:00

Part of my 'plan' for moving to the US from Glasgow involved moving back down to England for a month before heading overseas. Our flat contents would take six weeks to ship over so it seemed sensible to minimise the amount of time we would have over there without our things and I also thought it would give us a 'mini' summer break before we left, helping us acclimatise to the warmer weather.

There may be a slight flaw in that plan...

Glasgow forecast for the week

Marlow forecast for the week

Yes, Marlow is definitely warmer than Glasgow. Big tick there! However...

Frederick weather forecast

On first glance, looking at the big number, they all seem fairly comparable. Then you realise that THAT is the temperature in Frederick at 5.49AM.

Acclimatisation? I don't think so!

#SilentSunday

2011-07-24T11:56:00.000-04:00

Catching aeroplanes

2011-07-22T04:03:00.007-04:00

What happens when you give a 2.5 year old a magnifying glass?

It opens up a whole new world, where everything is BIG and pine cones and flowers and hands must be examined BUT the most amazing thing you can do with a magnifying glass?

Catch the aeroplanes apparently...

Step 2: Move 'home'

2011-07-21T12:08:00.000-04:00

My home for the next four weeks is my childhood home. It has always been home to me, no matter where I have lived, I have always said “I’m going home next week / tomorrow / later”. Confuses the hell out of people :)

What would the future hold?!

Marlow, Buckinghamshire. This is where I grew up. We moved here when I was eight and Mum & Dad have lived here ever since. I lived here till moving to University in Manchester, then came back for a few months before I moved to Birmingham and then on to Glasgow and now on to Maryland. I think this house will always be my home until my parents don’t live here any more.

Nick shows off the height of fashion...

I know I have my own home, with my own family, but I feel very lucky that there is still another place where I feel safe and secure, where Thomas sleeps through the night and I can get some rest (especially after the craziness of the last few weeks!).

Growing up

It isn’t really about Marlow, it’s about my family. I feel really lucky to have that and I hope that my children feel the same about the home I make for them.

David has left for the US now so it’s just me and T for the next few weeks. We plan to have days out and spend time with the grandparents and catch up with old friends. Lots to do but not hectic madness, which is good as I get a bit more pregnant and start to feel a little less invincible…

Thomas and Daniella continuing to feel safe at the grandparents house!

Why do I blog?

2011-07-17T13:03:00.000-04:00

Why do I blog?

Inspired by a post by the Blog up North, I've been wondering what blogging means to me. I started blogging as a way of making a page for my doula services. I'd written a dissertation as part of my doula training and I wanted to get it out there. Then I realised that I could actually use a blog as a place to write down things that happened to me. Maybe things that Facebook friends knew about, or wouldn't care about, but also to expand on news when I wanted to write more than just a status update.

I started to do the Gallery and Silent Sunday routinely, as a way to get into the parenting blogging community, to hopefully meet more like-minded people. People with young children, people who enjoyed photography, and maybe just other people like me! I have found some brilliant people. Mañana Mama makes me smile on a regular basis, with her fabulous stories and beautiful photography; I remember first reading Mummy Mishaps when she was a mum of one, finding her way in the parenting world, and now she has two!; Imperfect Pages takes the most amazing photos on her IPhone, as well as sharing the ups and downs of life with two children. These are a few of my favourite blogs [What happened to Mom-on-a-Wire?], and ones I will continue to read as my adventures continue.

But where do I fit in?

First I thought it was on the birth circuit but then I realised there were people out there already doing an excellent job of blogging about all things birth*. I now share these on my Facebook birth support page. My Facebook profile is a place for the people in my real world, occasionally culled and occasionally added to. School friends, work mates, birth supporters, mummy friends... I don't always share my blog posts on my Facebook page, and I don't share a lot of my status update world on my blog! I read a blog post a few months ago about someone annoyed by 'lazy bloggers' who only post photos and follow memes. It stopped me from posting anything for a long while and I still don't take part in the Gallery or Silent Sunday as much as I did. To be honest, it pissed me off a lot but I didn't want to get into a row about who should blog and who shouldn't. If people don't like what I post, and sometimes maybe it is only memes, then so be it. But it still stopped me for a while...

I don't think I'm a mummy blogger. I didn't go to Cybermummy because I didn't want to. I don't want my blog sponsored (well, I don't have cause right now), I don't do product reviews. I write because sometimes I have a need to share a photo or say more than 140 or 420 characters. Maybe I write so there is a history of my life from the time I became a mummy, actually no, when I became a doula.

Anyway, I decided. My world is massively changing right now. I've given up the world of lecturing and forensic science, for now, and I am pursuing a life of motherhood the American way. This is what this blog will be about, another ex-pat attempting to find a place in a new country, having another baby along the way. Hopefully some of you will stay me, and maybe I will find some others. If not, well, at least I'll always have a history to look back on :)

Lindsey x

*See for example - Birth Without Fear; Midwife Thinking; Offbeat Mama; Mama Birth

Step 1: Northumberland

2011-07-14T15:37:00.001-04:00

I finally left Glasgow yesterday. There were many tears and I keep getting waves of sadness. Time to look onwards and upwards though! We are now in Northumberland, visiting the grandparents, en route to Marlow where we will be staying with my folks for a few weeks.

Today we went to Alnwick Gardens and then Thomas enjoyed going to the beach with Papa and Barley.

Happy days :)

#SilentSunday

2011-07-10T16:34:00.000-04:00

Thomas rides his bike

2011-07-07T15:10:00.001-04:00

After months of refusing to wear his bike helmet (and possibly spurred on by Dora and Boots wearing their helmets in a recent episode!), Thomas decided today he wanted to try out riding his bike outside...

(This is not a sponsored post but this Strider balance bike has been a fantastic find!)

#SilentSunday

2011-07-03T03:57:00.000-04:00

Shebnem's poem

2011-06-26T17:57:00.000-04:00

My beautiful doula friends gave me a mini-Blessingway / leaving party this afternoon. I feel so incredibly lucky to have these women in my life. Shebnem wrote me a poem. I've never had a poem written for me before and words cannot express how much this means to me. It is also an absolutely beautiful piece of writing so I asked for permission to share it with you...

Here I stand again
On the banks of this river
Been here, done this before
Must have liked it the first time round
I came back for more

Soon I'll kick off my shoes
And dip my feet into its soft coolness
And then one step at a time...

I do remember the chill though
The stones cutting into my soles
The water running through my fingers
Me gently turning
Falling
Turning into
An eddy

And yet
Not all is the same
Can't remember that elder up there
Bent under the weight of its berries
There were no damsels flying by for sure
And not even a feather of this kingfisher

Maybe it was a different season?
Maybe I was a different person
They say - one can't swim in the same river twice

This time round
The sun is spilling over the leaves above
And raining on me like laughter
Bouncing on the drops on my shoulders

This time round
I do see those huge solid rocks
Rapids veiling their long green hair
I know exactly where to find
The smoothest, shiniest pebbles
And the softest, warmest current
To wrap around me like a rebozo
I'm pretty sure - I can't swim in the same river twice

This time round
I'll let the river swell
And I'll swell with it
I'll grow BIG with the river
For this is the river that feeds
Lullabies
Orchards
Vineyards
Elderberries

So I'll let it flow into
My belly, my breasts, my heart
I'll let it pour out off
My belly, my breasts, my heart
As bright as this light
As clear as these drops
As surely as these rocks

I am
As yet
In the uncharted territory
Of my motherhoodland
And see,
I just can't swim in the same river twice!

Sebnem Susam-Sarajeva
Edinburgh, 23.6.2011

The random questions in my head...

2011-06-09T16:45:00.004-04:00

I finish work in less than two weeks, leave Glasgow in five weeks and move to Maryland in August. It's all becoming a bit real and, as a consequence, I find myself thinking about lots of things. You would think they were big, life changing things... but no... here's a random delve into the questions which I find floating around my head:

Who will cut my hair?

Do people hang their washing outside?

Will Thomas call me Mom?

Will David revert to his pseudo-American accent?

What washing powder is most similar to Persil?

Shall I get a dog?

What is the equivalent to Burts Bees?

How can I play Scrabble online when the Facebook version doesn’t work?

Will an Ikea sofa be comfortable?

How many BBQs are acceptable when it’s sunny every single day in the summer…?

Should I change my ideas for baby names to ones more appropriate for the US? After all, Thomas was number 63 in the US boy chart last year, compared to 3 in the UK chart. Maybe I should be thinking more along the lines of Chuck, Tyler, Harrison... [forgive the lack of girl names, I'm convinced I'm having another boy!].

If anyone has the answer to these questions, or have any slightly more important questions they feel I should be asking, please let me know!

Also, here are just a couple of photos of my beautiful boy :)

#SilentSunday

2011-06-05T04:56:00.001-04:00

#SilentSunday

2011-05-22T03:55:00.003-04:00

Scottish Doula Network Retreat

2011-05-18T17:46:00.009-04:00

Last weekend I went on my first Scottish Doula Network retreat and I have been sitting here for days wondering how to write a post about it. I thought before I went that I would come back full of stories and tales to tell. I thought I would take lots of photos and have lots to write about. Well, it seems like I did take a lot of photos… but I don’t have a lot to write about. The retreat was amazing. It was everything I needed and more. There were tears, laughter, stories, therapies, walks, lots of cake and a lot of amazing food. One member summed it up perfectly in her Facebook status update (I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing!):

“laughed, cried, shared food, shared birth stories, made a cloth pad, drew & helped make and then walk in a labyrinth, massaged, hugged, walked and generally had a fabulous time with the lovely ladies at @Scottish Doula Network. Thank you all for a wonderful, emotional, fun weekend, it was great to see you all :)”

It was just a mind-blowing experience and I can’t describe it well enough! I never thought you could put me in a room (well, a nice house in the countryside) for a day, let alone two days and two nights, with a group of women and tell me I would enjoy myself! They came from different walks of life, all with one purpose – to support women during their journeys into motherhood.

So, here are some of the highlights of my weekend:

I made a cloth menstrual pad! We talked about menstruation and how it has become a taboo subject and how we should embrace our monthly cycle rather than shy away from it. Everyone should own a Mooncup (or equivalent!). Everyone should read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant! And maybe every women should think about celebrating their daughters’ first Menarche, so that these women grow up with a positive view of their bodies.

Cake. LOTS of cake.

A walk to a beautiful Loch.

Drawing, making and walking a labyrinth.

I was really sceptical about this beforehand! What can you possibly achieve by drawing a labyrinth? Well, it would seem you can achieve focus, as well as a new, beautiful shape to doodle when on the phone! Labyrinths are not like mazes, as you can’t get lost in a labyrinth. Just follow the path and you will get to the centre. The amazing thing with a labyrinth is that you feel you will never get to the middle. The path takes you close and then veers back out again but as long as you have faith, you will get there. This faith has been translated into the birth and postnatal experience – the walk to the centre of the labyrinth can be seen as your labour and birth journey; once you reach the centre, your baby is born and then you turn around and make your way out. The path back through the labyrinth is just as meaningful and it can be viewed as your journey back through parenthood. Before you mock me, try it! It’s an incredibly centring experience.

On the first evening, we made a rice labyrinth in the gardens of the house and we all walked it together. On the final day, I walked the labyrinth again on my own. This website, Sacred Labyrinth, summed this up perfectly for me: “Your walk can be a healing and sometimes very profound experience or it can be just a pleasant walk. Each time is different.”. My walks were very different, the second one feeling very emotional as I dealt with some fears and anxiety, which I have kept to myself for a while.

So, go away and draw a labyrinth. When your daughter celebrates her Menarche, make a rice labyrinth in the garden and walk through it together. And when you visit old buildings, especially churches and other religious places, look out for the labyrinths in the gardens and on the walls…

And finally - birth stories! One night we sat down and shared birth stories. Some people told their own stories and others told stories of births they had attended. Every story was different and each experience allowed me to gain another insight into the amazing world that I feel privileged to be a part of.

This of course will probably be my one and only Scottish Doula Network retreat. In a way I am glad, because I'm not sure an experience like that can be recreated! It mainly makes me sad though. I'm sad to leave Glasgow and leave behind this brilliant group of women who make me feel like I belong, 100%.

Thank you ladies, for all you gave to me last weekend. It was amazing. x

#SilentSunday

2011-05-15T14:19:00.001-04:00

Sarah Buckley study day, May 7th 2011

2011-05-08T14:54:00.008-04:00

*Disclaimer – I have not been sponsored to write this post, I honestly just love this woman this much!*

Yesterday, Saturday May 7th 2011, I had the great privilege to attend a Sarah Buckley study day in Edinburgh: “Safety and Logic of Physiological Birth”. For those in the natural birthing world, the name Sarah Buckley will be well known. For everyone else, Dr. Sarah Buckley is an MD from Australia who extols the virtue of natural birth through evidence-based research and her own experience of birthing her four children. She is author of the absolutely fabulous book, “Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering”, and has written numerous articles on pregnancy and birth.

The study was organised by Adela Stockton and co-friends from Doula UK. Adela is my ‘local hero’. It was through attending her doula workshops that I began to understand the path my life was going to take. She is awesome. She is a writer, midwife, doula trainer, homeopathist and mother. Her book “Birth Space, Safe Place: emotional wellbeing through pregnancy and birth” is an easy, beautifully written piece on how to obtain a great birth experience. I would recommend it to any pregnant friend or partner. Her second book “Gentle Birth Companions: doulas serving humanity” reflects on the history of the doula movement, both in the UK and Europe, and is essential reading for anyone looking for more information on the background of doulas.

So, my two favourite natural birth advocates in one room!! Could my world get any better?!

Actually yes! Because the day was spent with a group of amazing women; doulas, midwives, mothers, pregnant women and an expectant father. I was surrounding by some of my wonderful West of Scotland doula friends, met up with some East coast doulas I hadn’t seen in ages, and also met many more of the doulas and midwives who serve Scotland and Northern England.

The West of Scotland doulas meet Dr. Sarah Buckley MD

The day was based around three main lectures, “The Safety and Logic of Normal Birth”, “The Impact of Interventions”, and “The Hour after Birth and Postnatal Period”. Sarah spoke first about the physiological processes which take place during an ‘undisturbed birth’, that is, a birth without any interventions where a woman is left to labour in a private, safe, unobserved environment. What I love about Sarah is that speaks about evidence-based research. Maybe because I am a scientist, it just makes so much sense to me. She spoke about the hormones released during normal birth: oxytocin – the hormone of ‘love’; catecholamines – the hormones of ‘fight or flight’; beta-endorphins – the natural painkillers; and prolactin – the hormone of ‘paternity’. The second lecture of the day talked about how interventions can affect the natural pathways of these hormones and what affects these have on a labouring woman. It seems so obvious, once you understand what is happening in the body, and yet in this age of medicalised pregnancy and birth, an undisturbed birth rarely happens and interventions are commonplace in the labour room.

After lunch, Sarah moved on to the time immediately after birth, highlighting how essential it was for women to remain in their birthing state in order to effectively birth the placenta, maximise their hormonal surges and begin the process of attachment to the new baby. The importance of delayed cord clamping was explained – it’s incredible how much more blood the baby receives from the placenta before it stops pulsating! Why has it become routine in our society to clamp the cord and stop this transfer from mother to baby?

What blew me away was this quote, written by Erasmus Darwin in 1801 – Charles Darwin’s FATHER!

“Another thing very injurious to the child, is the tying and cutting of the navel string too soon; which should always be left till the child has not only repeatedly breathed but till all pulsation in the cord ceases. As otherwise the child is much weaker than it ought to be, a portion of the blood being left in the placenta, which ought to have been in the child.”

Erasmus Darwin,
Zoonomia, 1801

At the end of the day, people were split into groups and asked to think about factors that could ensure a woman in labour feels private, safe and unobserved. All women are different and different environments will work for different people, but this was a great opportunity to hear the experiences of others, learn how other doulas behaved in the birthing space and listen to the wisdom of midwives who explained their roles in the birth.

I came away from the day feeling humbled by the amazing women I was surrounded by; inspired by all of the new knowledge which I gained; and amazed by the power of females during labour and birth.

Wow. Now – spread the word!

Silent Sunday

2011-04-17T04:44:00.001-04:00

Silent Sunday

2011-04-10T06:25:00.000-04:00

Motherly love

2011-04-05T16:52:00.003-04:00

This is my post for Tara's Gallery this week - the subject "Mother Love".

This time two years ago, David was in the US and I came down South to leave a four-month old Thomas with his grandparents overnight while I went to Prague for a conference. My heart wept. I had spent 4.5 months on maternity leave, my world revolved around this little creature and here I was, abandoning him when he needed me!

Now, two years later, David is in the US and I am down South. Tomorrow I head to Brussels on the Eurostar for three days, same conference, Thomas is two years and four months. My heart isn't weeping this time, I'm much more relaxed and know he will have a ball with mama and dada :)

And I know when I come home he will still love me the best!

[although he might not speak to me for a little while...]

#SilentSunday

2011-03-27T04:00:00.002-04:00

It's all in the eyes!

2011-03-25T09:27:00.003-04:00

I took this photo of Thomas yesterday. No editing, nothing changed. It might be one of the best photos I've ever taken. It isn't technically brilliant, but I love it!

If you look really carefully... you can see me!

:)

The Gallery - An Education

2011-03-23T16:57:00.003-04:00

I wasn't going to join in The Gallery this week, too busy to think anything but work - although I guess being a lecturer I could have just posted random images of a work day... - anyway, I didn't and then I remembered I had this. Plus there is a whole old school theme going on so it seemed quite apt! Maybe when I go back to my folks I will get all of my old photos and scan them in and write a blog about life through the eyes of a school photo!

I think I was 6 in this photo. Note the asymmetrical haircuts we all possess. This would be one of the few photos of me wearing anything vaguely girly. I lived in my brothers' cast-off Incredible Hulk and Spiderman t-shirts and denim shorts. My mum used to be so sad that after three boys I wasn't a girly girl! We still lived in Wales at this point and I didn't have a Welch accent... although my older brother was nicknamed Taffy when we moved to England so maybe there was an accent there. I don't have so many memories of Wales; there are the family stories [crazy dogs, running naked, breaking my brothers' arm], the woods behind the house where I could clamber over to my friends' house, my dad taking us for 'spends' every Saturday morning, falling off my bike and scraping the skin off my arms, crying to my mum and telling her I didn't want to leave. We left when I was 8 years old and one week old. We moved to England, where I lived, in various places, for the next 22 years.

I love my brothers. And in case my oldest brother reads this and feels left out [I have three!], I'm going to find a photo of him from school and scan it in too. I'm pretty sure his haircut was *really* trendy in its day :D

#SilentSunday Splash!

2011-03-20T08:09:00.002-04:00

Today...

2011-03-17T17:08:00.003-04:00

I took a proper photo of trees!

I also realised how much Thomas loves his friends...

How much fun can be had on the days that mummy doesn't work!

A tree for #TheGallery

2011-03-16T17:40:00.004-04:00

Here is my post for Tara's Gallery this week!

I'm a bit snowed under at work, but a good snowed under, I am enjoying it right now! Maybe because I know I'm leaving in a few months, maybe because MSc students are really great to teach... who knows... Anyway, I'm sorry, it isn't a great tree photo for The Gallery this week, but it shows my brain right now :)

It's a phylogenetic tree! And don't worry, see that huge outlier for the UK making it look like we're totally different (genetically) to the rest of Europe? That's just called 'crap data'. If you're British, you're not really unique :)

Oh, if you were looking for a real tree, here is Thomas trying to hide in one...

#SilentSunday Boys go shopping

2011-03-13T11:23:00.002-04:00

Matilda’s birth Monday 21st February 2011

2011-03-11T15:54:00.003-05:00

I was recently very privileged to attend to my first doula birth. The birth mummy has given permission for me to post 'our' story here. Thank you! Here you go folks :)

This is my first birth story. My first birth story that isn’t mine. I feel proud and privileged to be part of someone else’s story and it is something that will stay with me forever.

Matilda’s mummy (S) started her labour story days before her baby would finally be born. The contractions started on the Thursday, infrequent and easy to deal with, S kept me informed of progress and excitement rippled through our world. Friday came and went with similar contractions, and so went Saturday. Sunday morning came the exciting message that things were starting to get a bit more intense. Contractions had begun in earnest at 3.30am and S was now having regular contractions every five minutes. The midwife was due to arrive to monitor progress and I was told to prepare myself for ‘the call’. My Sunday was then spent pacing the flat! S sent another message in the late morning to say the midwife had been, it looked like labour was progressing and she would expect to get another call in the afternoon. S called me at 4pm to say her waters had just broke! I scurried around, got my bag and leapt into a taxi!

I arrived at the flat to find S dealing with the contractions well. You could feel the excitement in the room. This baby was on its way! Little B (at 15 months old) was being entertained by S’s mum, while A (Matilda’s daddy) was keeping an eye on everyone and seeming to be everywhere at once with his devotion to S apparent and his love of Little B shining. S continued having 5 minutes contractions and the midwife turned up again soon after. She checked to find S was 2cm dilated. Things were progressing, albeit slowly, progression is the key!

The next few hours meld into each other. Massaging S with clary sage, on her back, on her arms and on her beautiful bump. I could feel the contractions as they happened and tried to take some of the pain into my hands. S was brilliant, changing positions, standing, lying on her side, kneeling, pacing, coping beautifully with each contraction. She decided on gas & air to help deal with the pain. We rubbed her back. First me, then A, then me again. A came and went, looking after Little B, looking after all of us. Little B came into the room often to check on her mummy. Once assured that all was well and her mummy was still there, she left again. I found it so beautiful to see Little B joining in with this birth. Too young to really understand but one day her mummy will be able to tell her “you were there, you were with me while your sister was making her way into this world”.

S asked for morphine. She was starting to get tired from the contractions. After the morphine we left the room and let S rest a while with A. They had made a beautiful lasagne and I will remember that meal as long as I live! It was a chance for me to speak with the midwife, to talk about what we did for a living, to set a boundary for us and form an alliance. It was a good opportunity for me to help her realise that I wasn’t there to tell her what to do. After all, my allegiance was to S, and S had asked me for support, not asked me to tell the midwife what to do.

More hours, more massage, more pacing, bouncing, kneeling, swaying. S was beautiful, coping so well, never moaning.

The midwife checked her again at 9pm. She was 4cm. The midwife told her she was progressing but very slowly. I thought “Brilliant! Progression!”. More morphine was given, more pacing, more swaying, more massaging. S was getting tired. The midwife asked if S was focused on a home birth, or just a vaginal birth. S didn’t know any more. The midwife left the room and it gave us some time to talk. I told her that the midwife was going to tell her we could go to hospital. We could go and get an epidural and she could sleep. S told me she knew. She knew this was coming. She was getting so tired. With tiredness comes the doubt and with doubt things become less clear. We would see how things went and in a couple of hours we would check again and if there was no progression, S would transfer to hospital.

S was checked again at 10.30pm. The midwife said she was still 4cm. Plus the baby had her hand against her face. This was why it was so hard. The time had come to go to hospital.

It was the night of an old firm match. Celtic vs Rangers in the football. Many many fights, drunk people, accidents. The ambulance took 45 minutes to appear. S continued to cope with contractions. I was amazed with her stamina. She never complained, she just swayed, breathing deeply, brilliantly.

The transfer to hospital and handover seem in my mind to have taken forever. All S wanted was an epidural but there was so much to do beforehand! Foetal monitoring, new midwives, new questions. I gave the new midwife the birth plan. “Whatever happens”, I said, “she has written it all in her birth plan. I think you should know her wishes”.
The doctor came in and examined S. Still 4cm but she was happy that the baby was happy and she thought that with an epidural we could give it a couple of hours and see what happened. Only one problem – the anaesthetist was going to go in for a C-section soon. S could have a CS now but the dr was saying she could try for a normal delivery. S considered a CS. Everyone left the room except for S, A and myself. A told S that he would agree with whatever she wanted but he thought she should try an epidural first. I agreed with him. I truly believed that S was struggling so much because she was so tired. Contractions had started at 3.30am and it was now 12am the next day! Just a bit of rest, a little sleep, and it would all seem so different. S agreed.

The anaesthetist was too busy to come. He had gone into surgery. S was left with no morphine, just gas and air. Just waiting. She was brilliant. The same as the last 20 hours. No complaining, no shouting, just breathing. I looked at her face. She was so tired. So so tired. I wished that I could just take some of that pain, just for a little while, so she could get some sleep. We tried some different positions. A was brilliant. He was so in love with S and right then his love was so apparent he could have been wearing a flashing badge saying “I love this woman!”. He held her hand, held her face, kissed her, stroked her skin, made her feel loved, kept her calm. I sat to the side and tried to blur into the background; there if needed, but not needed right then.

The monitor had slipped a couple of times and the baby’s heartbeat was not registering properly. The doctor came back in and announced that the baby was in distress! The monitor had slipped, I said, and so did the midwife. The doctor stayed for another contraction and was not happy with the trace. S was exhausted, A was worried for his wife, and the option of a C-section was given again. Less of an option, they weren’t happy with the heartbeat. It was time for S and A to decide. They agreed to go for the CS. 23 hours after contractions started, S went in to the operating theatre. A looked so scared, so worried for her. I was left in the labour room. Time to pack up our things and wait.

I was moved to another room and waited. A came out of the operating room, Matilda was born! I could have cried! I didn’t, I think I knew if I cried then that the tiredness that was burning around the edges would creep in and I wouldn’t stop crying or I would fall asleep! He looked so happy. The face of a new father. So relieved that S was OK, so happy that Matilda was here. She was here! She looked like Little B. She had hair. She was fine. Everyone was OK.

I waited for S to come out of theatre and met Matilda. She was already on the breast, she hadn’t moved since being put there. What a brilliant start to breastfeeding! S looked tired but happy. Photos were taken. I stayed for a while, I wanted to make sure S was OK. I crept away at 4.30am, 25 hours after contractions had started, 90 minutes after Matilda was born. Welcome to the world Matilda!

My first doula birth. A life-changing experience and one I will never forget.

Thank you, S, A, Little B, S’s mum, and of course, Matilda ☺ x

The Gallery - One Word... Scotland

2011-03-08T17:03:00.005-05:00

This is my post for The Gallery this week...

Before I went for my job interview in Glasgow I'd never been to Scotland. I feel bad about that because it's not that hard to cross the border from England to Scotland, but I had never had a reason. I moved to Glasgow and was immediately welcomed by all the amazing people I met. People were so friendly and I felt like I had found somewhere I could truly belong. Now, four and a half years later, I find myself starting to reminisce. Because we're leaving. The Welch family will be uprooting and resettling in Maryland in the summer of 2011, new times ahead!

Moving to Glasgow was a turning point to me. I met David (not in Scotland, at a conference in Krakow!). He moved to Glasgow to be with me. We got married. We were insanely lucky to have Thomas. I met mummy friends. I became a doula. I met doula friends. I discovered photography and through that I found blogging and suddenly I found myself with a whole new set of friends. So many things have happened to me!

So, one word, Scotland. It was going to be Glasgow. But Glasgow is just one part of this amazing country which I am privileged to live in. Most of my photos are Glasgow-based, but there are a few which aren't :)

This is the street in which I live. It doesn't look like much, but these tenement flats hold a whole host of individuals, families, old people, young people. I love it. I hate my upstairs neighbour (anyone on Facebook or Twitter will be well aware of this!), but I love my old neighbours next door, and the young people upstairs, and the families on the street and the general sense of community I feel every time I walk down my road.

Loch Lomond. I work at a University which has a house on the banks of Loch Lomond. You go to a meeting and walk into the grounds and this is what you see.

The Isle of Cumbrae. Anyone who lives on the West of Scotland knows Millport and the Isle of Cumbrae. A ferry ride from the mainland and easy to cycle around. Brilliant.

Queens Park on Glasgow's South Side. 5 minutes away from me, many many many many hours spent here during the summer on maternity leave. Still a great place to wander around. Churches, a lake (sorry - a pond, so I'm told), a duck pond, the Glasshouse (free soft play and plants and reptiles), two play parks, a viewing point, tennis courts. Fabulous.

Thomas likes the play parks best...

Heads of Ayr farm park. Not Glasgow, Ayr. I only discovered it two weeks before it closed for winter last year. I WILL be back this year! Animals, rides, playgrounds, massive outdoor trampolines... all on the West coast of Scotland.

My doula friends. There aren't many of us in the West of Scotland. These ladies have made me feel like I am really part of something special. From all walks of life we have come together for one reason, to support women and their families. I love them.

Thomas. Thomas was born in Glasgow. Just like I was born in Wales, he will also feel a part of this place. I'm really glad about that because it is a truly fantastic place to be*.

*just a bit cold

My boy #SilentSunday

2011-03-06T09:01:00.001-05:00

Sunshine & new wellies! #SilentSunday

2011-02-27T11:19:00.002-05:00

Expressions #TheGallery

2011-02-23T16:47:00.009-05:00

Expressions this week for Tara's Gallery. So hard! So many photos! Here are a few...

First holiday together:

Married a year later:

Baby a year later...

Smile Thomas!

Proper smile from Thomas:

Posing for US Visa application ;-):

Sunday. So grown up, so involved, so beautiful...

Sleepy Saturday evening #SilentSunday

2011-02-13T04:43:00.002-05:00

One day in February...

2011-02-08T16:58:00.004-05:00

This week, Tara has set the theme for The Gallery as '24 hours'. We're allowed to post as many photos as we like! I bought Lightroom so I thought I'd try something different. Mind you, this will be crap if the photo is too small! [I think it's OK if you click on it...]

This week, David came home from 2.5 weeks away in the US. The weekend went in a blur of playing with Thomas, running, Facebook, naps on the sofa (them not me!), Scrabble, Twitter, Toys R Us (Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!), crap films, some wine, plus a new macro lens for my camera... Thomas was very happy to have his daddy back :)

Here you go!

Something I've really learnt over the last few days... I LOVE photography. I love capturing moments and making every one of them special. I think I'm getting better. We'll see if I feel the same way when I get my first set of Diana F+ Lomography prints back! Watch this space...

Cars cars, it's all about the cars... #SilentSunday

2011-02-06T04:53:00.001-05:00

Birds #SilentSunday

2011-01-30T11:29:00.002-05:00

Let him eat cake...

2011-01-27T11:58:00.002-05:00

Happy birthday Daddy, we miss you! #SilentSunday

2011-01-23T04:25:00.001-05:00

Not-so-silent Soft Play Sunday

2011-01-16T11:37:00.002-05:00

Body parts

2011-01-12T17:08:00.003-05:00

I'm cheating a bit for The Gallery this week, just because I love this photo. It's my eye. I think it's beautiful! A good friend of mine is a keen photographer and took this amazing photo one day, no preparation, just a good camera, a great flash and a steady hand... Thanks Shane!

Head over to Sticky Fingers to see all the great interpretations of Body Parts!

Silent Sunday - first swim 2011

2011-01-09T08:52:00.002-05:00

Silent Sunday - Merry Christmas everybody!

2010-12-26T07:41:00.004-05:00

Love for The Gallery

2010-12-22T11:52:00.002-05:00

Love is:

Studying the menu together...

Keeping a two-year old entertained on a seven hour flight...

Sticky chocolate ice cream kisses :)

This is my end of year Gallery post. Thank you Tara for helping me meet so many fantastic people!

My baby turned 2 today - Silent Sunday

2010-12-19T13:01:00.001-05:00

Birthday season - Silent Sunday 12/12/10

2010-12-12T10:10:00.002-05:00

White...

2010-12-08T07:52:00.005-05:00

We went to Maryland for Thanksgiving.

Goodbye Glasgow, goodbye white wind turbines (see here for the return!)

Thomas was an angel on the aeroplanes.

We visited the air & space museum in Washington DC.

We visited Frederick, with it's canal and many many churches.

And we came home to a blanket of snow and have been stuck at home ever since!

We went to many places and saw many things and I took many many photos! All on manual! These photos represent the colour white to me for the last couple of weeks. Go over to The Gallery at Sticky Fingers for more brilliant photos...

Silent Sunday 05/12/10

2010-12-05T15:32:00.001-05:00

Hello Glasgow.

Silent Sunday 28/11/10

2010-11-28T22:00:00.003-05:00

King size bed.

Black and white

2010-11-24T18:56:00.006-05:00

My contribution to Tara’s Gallery this week. It's late as I spent the day travelling to Maryland!

I am ready to write this post. I don’t want to cause a debate so I will tell you now, it’s about breastfeeding. Or not breastfeeding, more to the point.

This photo was taken during a ‘good’ feed. One of the feeds which made me think “oh, THIS is how it should be, this is what it means to truly feed my baby”… rest assured, the rest of the feeds that day would have been hell and stopping breastfeeding was one of the most traumatic things I’ve ever done.

Let me rewind :)

I was definitely going to breastfeed, in the same way that I was definitely going to have a home birth and I was definitely going to use reusable nappies and I was definitely NEVER going to let my child eat their dinner and watch TV… I DO still use reusable nappies!

A combination of a 10lb 8oz baby, big boobs, flat nipples, poor latch, lack of support (I live in Scotland and my family are in England plus T was born 6 days before Christmas and the midwives were short-staffed due to a sickness bug), mastitis and constant feeding, meant that my breastfeeding days were over when T was only 12 days old. I was sensible enough to realise that feeling resentful every time this tiny creature with gnashing jaws came anywhere near me was probably not healthy and with much soul searching and self-flagellation, I stopped.

You would think that was the end of it but I felt guilty for months. All around me people were breastfeeding their babies, people were struggling and getting through it, others had babies with perfect latches who couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t do it. Labour? I would do labour again in a second, but breastfeeding? Not a chance! I questioned myself. Had I done the right thing? Maybe if I had just tried a bit harder…

As part of my doula training I had to look back on my own birth and breastfeeding experiences. I had a great birth experience, not a textbook ‘perfect’ birth, but a positive empowering experience. If only I could get over this breastfeeding thing. When T was almost a year old I went on a breastfeeding course and spent a day surrounded by women who could breastfeed, had breastfed and who felt that everyone should be able to breastfeed. We spent time talking through how you do it, what difficulties you may come across and how you can support women who are having issues. I came home from that day and cried. Not because I had done any wrong, because I finally realised that I’d done nothing wrong. I had looked for help, I tried different things, I tried to express milk, I tried supplementing and in the end, it didn’t work for me. My baby was happy and healthy and, most importantly, we did and still do share a bond.

Looking back, I understand that I was never judged by anyone except myself, and I have learnt to realise that the best-laid plans all go to pot in this world of parenting :) I also realised that the world of breast versus fomula is not always black and white!

Silent Sunday

2010-11-21T06:58:00.002-05:00

An apology for David...

2010-11-20T10:56:00.004-05:00

I've got a confession to make... I like Take That. No, scrub that, I LOVE Take That! I decided to turn my random musings into a blog post because I'm boring my husband. I think my love of TT is under control, not an obsession, just a rumbling undercurrent. David thinks otherwise. He thinks I'm insane.

OK, I admit, the current album release and the recent onstage performances may have made me slightly more vocal than normal, but obsessed?

Really?

I think its incredibly important for David to know the intricacies of the Never Forget performance on Children in Need. After all, he is the one always reminding me of how he missed out on the UK '80s and '90s due to living in the US. It is surely my DUTY to keep him fully informed of happenings in my 17 year 'career' as a TT fan.

Well, that's what I believe anyway.

So, David, I'm sorry. You know I love you, that I'm proud of you and I want you to be mine forever... You just might (will probably) end up with a wife who goes to concerts and screams like a 17 year old when she's 50, maybe even 60, let's hope I'm over it by 70!

Oh, and I like the new album... but I'm not feeling the Robbie love in the live performances... :)

This is my lovely husband and baby watching Fireman Sam, not Take That. One day I hope they watch Take That performances with such solemnity...

I love Lego...

2010-11-03T12:50:00.004-04:00

I wasn't going to post this week but having seen all the other brilliant posts for Tara's Gallery, I just wanted to contribute. I posted one of these photos before but here is the series. Thomas got a bit carried away by the Lego bowl at the Science Museum - David laughing makes me laugh the most :)

I love the bewildered look he gives the Lego afterwards...

I'll be back soon!

2010-10-28T17:31:00.003-04:00

Life is too busy but I hope to be back on here soon. Maybe after tomorrow. It's my birthday! :) Here are some recent photos...

My mummy

2010-10-05T17:10:00.007-04:00

This is my mummy with Thomas when he was a month old. She was there for his birth and they've had a special bond ever since :) She doesn't like photos being taken, but I think this one is beautiful.

I think my mum is fabulous. I always said if I could be half the mother she has been, I would be doing OK. I love you mummy!

This is my post for Tara's Gallery this week. The prompt was "Here come the girls" :)

Here is a photo of Thomas. He isn't a girl, but he was spending the day at Blair Drummond with a group of girls, so it sort of counts, and I just really like the photo...

Interestingly, I came across a superb photographer Joe Wigfall, who takes street photos in a similar way to how I took this (although, obviously, much much better!). I feel inspired!

A smile

2010-09-21T17:31:00.009-04:00

I know that if we couldn't have children then I would have been enough for my husband. I know he loves me more than anything else in the whole wide world... nearly... except for Thomas (who he loves in a *different* way he tells me). No-one makes him smile like Thomas does, it makes my heart smile :)

Back then it was just pure love, nearly two years later they are proper pals...

This is my post for The Gallery this week - topic "A Smile". Head over to Tara at Sticky Fingers to see all of the other fabulous photos. Guaranteed to make you smile!!

Manual take two!

2010-09-16T10:31:00.014-04:00

I didn't take part in The Gallery this week. I just didn't have time. Today Thomas is sleeping for a loooong time so I thought I'd update on my 'switch to manual' leap, which was dramatically helped by Jay. Thanks Jay :)

It's kind of good and bad. The worst photos are the ones which I know would have been brilliant if I'd got the focus right / ISO right / aperture right (delete as appropriate):

Ones which I'm mainly happy with, but still don't *quite* get what I did to get the photo:

Then the ones which really make me happy :)

I think it's a coincidence they're both black & white! I love the last one - my boys were drumming, singing songs... at this point, Thomas was screaming at the crocodile in Row Row Row Your Boat. It may not be technically brilliant, but it captured the moment perfectly.

Schooldays!

2010-09-08T07:38:00.003-04:00

I wasn’t going to take part in The Gallery this week… Thomas is almost two so I don’t even want to think about his first day at school. I know it will be here in a second and I want to savour the next couple of years before he completely leaves me!

Then I remembered that on a recent visit home I had found this:

It’s a collage of photos from my last days at secondary school; we all said our goodbyes and went on to whatever came next. We all grew up and we all moved on. I stayed friends with a couple of people and found out about other people through them, so we all stayed interconnected but far apart until a couple of years ago...

Suddenly, Facebook made the whole school year accessible again! I wasn’t sure whether this would be a good thing but it’s turned out OK.

There are people I don’t want to be friends with, so I’m not. There are people who I’m not friends with, but who I can now look at as an adult and feel happy that they’re doing well. Then there are my friends, who will always be my friends, who I would keep in touch with anyway, but who I keep in touch with more because of Facebook. Some got married, some went travelling, some had babies, some have brilliant careers, some people really changed, and others have stayed the same. So much has happened to us all since these photos were taken, yet school will always tie me to these people, and I feel glad that Facebook has reunited me with most of them :)

(not the bare-chested boy who was my boyfriend at the time!)

One Day in August

2010-08-31T17:11:00.006-04:00

This week's Gallery theme is One Day in August - inspired by Blipfoto, we all got to document a day (Sunday August 29th) in the life of an aspiring* photographer!

*insert amateur / brilliant/ crap / eager as appropriate…

Sunday was also the day three UK parenting bloggers flew to Bangladesh for a week to help raise awareness of the work Save the Children is doing with mothers and children in one of the most poverty-stricken places on the planet. In the words of @tara_cain "Let's mark this inspiring day for Josie, Sian and Eva.".

Armed with my camera, and my new obsession with manual settings (thank you Jay), I set out to take a photo which would depict a typical Sunday in the Welch household…

Thomas played with some stones, Makka Pakka stylee:

I took a photo of some flowers, Lindsey-stylee:

Thomas got daddy to run round the garden, Thomas-and-daddy-stylee:

And then we all stopped…

…

And the boys fell asleep, Sunday-stylee... Taken on my mobile, not an aperture or ISO in sight yet still my favourite photo of the day :)

A photo I am proud of!

2010-08-24T16:52:00.004-04:00

I've been a bit quiet for a month but now I'm back! Here is my entry for The Gallery hosted by Tara @Sticky Fingers this week - the prompt is "A Photo I'm Proud Of"...

One day, a year ago, a friend came round and took the most amazing photos of Thomas, just like that, sitting on the floor in the lounge and I vowed to myself that I would have a camera just like his! A few months later, armed with MY new digital SLR, I sat down one day and took some photos (set to M - yes, I do try!) and this picture I just love:

I've probably taken better photos, but this was my first attempt at getting out of Auto mode and getting a bit 'arty'.

Taking the theme on a slightly different slant - this is a photo I am truly proud of - meeting my son for the first time...

Welcome to Scotland!

2010-07-28T16:43:00.013-04:00

Why did I move to Scotland?

It's a question I often ask myself in the summer, when the South of the UK bakes in glorious weather and I sit here contemplating whether it would be truly 'nesh' of me to put the central heating on…. In order to dry the washing of course, not because it is really that cold in Glasgow, but it IS very wet.

Before my job interview in November 2006, I'd never been to Scotland. I'd just turned 30, got my PhD, got out of a bad relationship and needed something new. It turned out that moving to Glasgow turned my life around. Three and a half years later - I still like my job, I met David (in Poland actually… more on that story at a later date maybe?), I got married, I had a baby, and I got used to all the rain. Most importantly, I discovered what an amazing place Scotland is! I felt so welcomed in Glasgow as soon as I arrived, I've met great friends and had some excellent times, and when the day comes for me to leave, I won't regret my time here at all.

Yesterday, for work, we spent the day at Ross Priory. It belongs to the University and sits on the South banks of Loch Lomond. This was my view for the day…

And this was my view at dusk…

Just two of the many reasons that I love Scotland.

Although I do miss things like this - one of my beautiful nieces upsetting Grandad by blowing dandelion seeds onto the garden :-)

This is my entry for Tara's Gallery this week. The subject being 'Nature'. There is a prize of chocolate! Who could resist such an offer?! Make sure you go and check out some of the other entries, the photos this week are exceptional!

Run Linz run!

2010-07-25T12:00:00.008-04:00

I've struggled with losing the baby weight for many months. Struggled meaning I just can't stop eating! I try to stop for a while but then I only lose a pound or so, so I just start eating again. And drinking wine of course...

Anyway, instead of dieting, I decided to start running! Anyone who knows me knows what a crazy idea this is, as outlined in my post here. It's amazing what I can put my mind to when I want to. Some people would call it 'stubborn' :-D

So, four times a week, out I went, walking / running, huffing / puffing, and then I started to like it. Hang on, hang on... *I* started to *like* running? I think I've gone insane. We went to Portugal for two weeks and I carried on running. Then I realised I could actually run 5K! Wow, I'm still quite surprised about that!

Yesterday was run day and I was very nervous. David had told me he would run with me if I wanted but I wasn't sure; David is a born runner and regularly goes out for 5, 6, 7, 10K runs so I didn't want to feel stupid. It turns out he is the most brilliant running partner! He pushed Thomas in the jogging pushchair and maintained my pace, pushing me a little bit more than I would have done on my own. Around the track we went, across the park and towards the big hill... the big hill had been scaring me for a long time and I'd never actually run up it! Up we went, running all the way, and then down the other side. What a relief! Around the back of the park, past the House for an Art Lover, and onto the last 1K. That was hard and then I was done. I almost cried with relief!

Then David told me the time - 31 minutes and 50 seconds - and I did shed a little tear. I took 3 minutes off my previous 5K time AND I raised £275 for Sands. All in all, what a brilliant experience!

Oh - but I never lost any weight! I heard somewhere that diet AND exercise is the key... :-D

Beforehand...

The lovely David...Nervous!Run Linz run!Tired but proud!

A Novel Idea...

2010-07-21T03:51:00.006-04:00

This week's theme at The Gallery is: A novel idea.

A photograph which you think represents a favourite book or novel or even children's tale.

A classic, pulp fiction, a fairytale, a modern masterpiece.

Dracula, On Chesil Beach, Lord of the Rings, Little Red Riding Hood.

Tell us which book and why your photo illustrates it for you.

Oh no!

I like books too much and have many favourites but how do you take of a photo of Shadow of the Wind, The Subtle Knife or Clan of the Cave Bear? I considered going for Perfume, but that seemed a bit easy... To Kill a Mockingbird seemed a bit macabre... then I considered not doing it at all! But, here is my contribution - can you guess what it is?

I went for the Children's Books category and for a long time MY favourite books, if not T's, have been the "That's Not My..." range. I give you - That's Not My Robot.

:-)

Emotions

2010-06-30T07:30:00.007-04:00

This week, Tara at Sticky Fingers has teamed up the Gallery with the Writing Workshop hosted by Josie at Sleep is for the Weak. The task? Emotions. It's a tough one! Here is my contribution...

My mum always used to tell me that I could never hide how I was feeling. All she had to do was look into my eyes and she knew if I was OK or not. I think that is still true.

Since having T my emotions have gone all over the place. Before I would get upset about things but I'd keep myself in check. Now I sob at the slightest thing - sad films, happy news, frustration...

But these days I just don't care so much. The fact that I can look at my son and be overwhelmed with love for him, so much that it makes me cry, how can it be wrong to feel that sort of emotion?

And Thomas? Well, these photos say it all. The excitement of Grandad showing him how to water the plants; the sheer joy at watering the plants; the happiness when he realises he can REFILL the watering can! Emotions on a different level. A level so innocent, it makes me cry...

Creatures

2010-06-23T11:30:00.003-04:00

This is my contribution to the Gallery this week - subject: Creatures!

What is it?

A sheep! Apparently...

:-)

Motherhood

2010-06-16T04:57:00.003-04:00

This is my contribution to this week's Gallery by Tara over at Sticky Fingers.

I don't think I can easily write about what motherhood means to me. It was so powerful. That moment of becoming a mother, when suddenly this little person appeared and all he needed was me. My heart burst and I was overwhelmed.

The journey to becoming a 'mum' was hard and it was painful. I thought I'd be a natural, having grown up with so many nieces and nephews, but breastfeeding was impossible, doing anything was impossible, taking a shower would be the one solitary thing I managed to do each day. And then it got better... it got easier. It was still hard but it was difficult for different reasons. I was now confident. I knew I could do it and I knew that I was good at it. I could take him out for an afternoon and it would all be OK. We could even get on a bus and go into town, imagine!

Now motherhood is the wonderment I feel when I watch him explore and discover. So many things for him to learn, and excitement to be found everywhere. I care for him, I play with him and I try and teach him.

This photo was taken at Millport. He had the whole beach to look at, the rocks to explore, other kids to play with, so what did he do? He sat in the grass and gazed in amazement at the kernels. He amazes me :-)