Two years on!

Two years ago today, right now, I was en route to our new life in the US. I woke up that morning and could barely breathe.  I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave the UK.  I didn't want to leave my family.  How could I not see my Mum every six weeks? How would I survive?

I didn't know how to 'be' in the US. I felt like I had jumped off the edge of a cliff and was free-falling to a sudden and painful death.  I have never been so scared in my whole life.

Now here I am two years later and I wouldn't change it for the world.  I've purposely not gone back and read my "One Year Later" post.  I can't remember what I said and I wanted to think about things without refreshing my feelings from last year.

Photo courtesy of Clare Ahalt Photography

This summer is the first year I've really felt settled. I've made friends, proper friends now, people I can talk to about more than just baby poo and summer activities.  I've found a community of birthy people, people who get my passion for pregnancy and birth and don't think I'm a crazy hippy for eating my placenta and having my baby at home!  I've done some doula work, which always makes me happy!  I'm building my photography business and have had steady work for the last few months. I've started doing birth photography and feel like this is what I was born to do.

Most importantly my family is happy. My babies are growing up and my heart shines every day to see them smile and hear them laugh.  It helps that the sun shines so much here!  It's nice to be home with them and see them grow, and it's nice to fill our days with activities and see new things and go new places.

Of course it's hard sometimes.  Finding a balance between working for myself and looking after my boys and finding time for my husband can be challenging.  I still miss my Mum like crazy.  Yes I can live without seeing her every six weeks, but in a perfect world I would be able to, and it is still the one thing I would change about living here.

I'm glad I grew up in the UK and got to see so much of Europe and other places around the world, but I'm also happy to see my boys grow up here, for now.  This is a good place for my family and I can't ask for more than that!

Ahhhh, so I read back my first year post and remembered I had made a list of all the differences I have found here!  I can't think of any more off the top of my head, but my 'new' thing for this year is realising words that I will never ever be able to say properly. For example:

Graham - Thomas's new teacher is called Mrs Graham. He laughs every time I say Mrs Graham. It's Mrs Graaaam, I can't say it, it's going to be a long year...

Squirrel.
Horse.
Hill.
Blueberry. Make that any kind of berry.
Pasta.
Any name with an Anna in it. It isn't Anna, it's Ah-na.

There are more. I can't remember right now. I'll have to come back and add them later!

One year on. Really?!

In five days I will have been here in the US for one whole year. I can’t really believe that so much time has passed. I vividly remember that last morning in the UK, not being able to move from the bed, not wanting to have to say goodbye to my Mum. Even now as I sit here writing this, my eyes glisten with tears as the feelings of despair and sadness wash over me.

I do miss my Mum. I really do. I miss all of my family. I can’t dwell on it because if I did, I would be unhappy and really, I don’t have a right to be unhappy when I am living such a nice life!

Life here is good. I am doing things I love, bringing up my boys, training to be a Childbirth Educator, setting up my photography business. I have met some fabulous people, and some not so fabulous people. I have been to some amazing places, visited six states, found beautiful parks, and my home feels like a home (albeit messier than I would like…). I have struggled with cultural differences, and laughed at cultural differences. I’ve experienced Fall and Thanksgiving and American Hallowe’en. I’ve discovered that there are hundreds of reasons to celebrate with candy during the school year. I’m figuring out the supermarkets and CSAs and farmers markets. I’m running - a lot! I passed my driving test. I had an American baby! I discovered groups like Frederick Mommies, Mombook, API of Frederick, La Leche League of Frederick, and I joined them all! You could never accuse me of being cliquey :)

The first three months were the loneliest I have ever had. I didn’t know how it ‘worked’ out here. I thought I would never make any friends or be able to have a normal conversation with anyone. I was sad. Then it all started coming together…

So, one year on. I feel lucky. Lucky to have a husband who supports me in all the crazy things I’ve decided to take on; who doesn’t complain when I spend all day looking after children and all night working on photos or coursework. I am lucky to have made some good friends who have seen me laugh and seen me cry. I wish I could move my home nearer to my family. Better still, I wish I could move my family nearer to me!

Spurred on by a Facebook conversation, I decided to start making a list of all the language differences I’ve come across this year. Bear with me, I’m sure I’m missing hundreds of others, but these are the ones that stick in my head!

(In no particular order)

Garden = Yard

Vegetable patch = garden

Boot = trunk

Bonnet = hood
Rubber = eraser
Condom = rubber

Pram = carriage

Buggy = stroller

Pushchair = stroller

Travel cot = pack n play

Activity centre = Excersaucer

Nappies = diapers

Aubergine = eggplant

Coriander = cilantro

Courgette = green squash / zucchini

BBQ = grill

Clothes pegs = clothes pins

Post = mail (people think I’m talking about the Washington Post newspaper if I mention post)

Football = soccer

American football = football (who’d have known!)

Cordial = doesn’t exist!

Zed = zee

Bottom = tush

Bum = butt

Biscuit = Cookie

Dumpling-type thing = biscuit, as in “chicken and biscuit”. I haven’t had it…

Pronunciation:

The completely different pronunciation of certain herbs, with herb itself being ‘erb:

oregano = o-ray-ganno

basil = bay-zle

quinoa = key-noir (had a very puzzled look from a shop assistant when I asked for ki-noah…)

Zebra = zee-bra

Nauseous = Naw-shus

Awesome ONLY sounds cool with an American accent. Fact.

Random musings:

When we first arrived I mentioned to David that there were a LOT of deaf people here. There really are! It took me ten months to realise that the Maryland School for the Deaf is in Frederick… so not just some kind of Martha’s Vineyard then…

Go to the shops / dentist / haircut etc = ‘running errands’

The addition of ‘of’ to a sentence: “take that off of there” “you get off of route 70”

The Lube Center. No matter how many times I drive past it, I still snigger to myself like an adolescent schoolboy. It just sounds so rude. It’s a car shop!

What is the thing with milk? In the UK you have whole milk, semi-skimmed milk and skimmed milk.  Here you have whole milk, 2% milk, 1% milk, some places have skimmed milk, raw milk (illegal in MD). Which one is the same as UK skimmed milk? Probably none of them, I’ve not worked it out yet…

Where did April go?!

Oh that's right, I went to the UK! We laughed, we cried, we sang, we danced. I met old friends and very old friends, and took my baby to Sweden. I spent a LOT of time with my Mummy, Thomas spent a lot of time with his cousins, Tyler just got immersed in the Dixon family and came out of it smiling and happy as usual.

I went to the ENFSI DNA working group meeting and tested out my brain for a couple of days. I sadly missed the incredibly successful MAMA conference in Scotland which took place at the same time.

It was a brilliant three weeks and I was sad to leave my family at the end of it. I have to say though, coming back to my beautiful house and weather over 30 degrees was a pretty nice thing to do! Roll on Memorial weekend when the pool opens for the summer. I think we're going to have a pretty good time... And my brother and his family are coming in June, followed by Mum & Dad in September, before we head home for Christmas.

The world is small these days! Here are my favourite photos from April!

Slowing down

Life is slower. It's been an adjustment to appreciate that there isn't always a need to rush from one thing to another.  Today I spent time talking. I talked to my Mum via Skype. Tyler was at his cutest and smiled and showed her how he could wave his arms around and generally look cute.  I talked to my neighbour over a cup of tea. I learnt more about her in two hours than I had learnt over the last six months. Then I had some mummy friend time. We chilled out and sat around and talked about jobs and babies and weaning and nannying. We sat outside amidst the washing - washing drying outside which fills my heart with happiness and emits a smell which throws me back into another simpler life when I lived at home with my Mum and Dad. I picked up Thomas from preschool and went back outside, playing on the deck, breathing in the fresh air, generally enjoying my day. That's when I realise that life is slower.  I didn't 'do' much, but I kept my baby close to me, I fed him and changed him, held him when he dozed, kissed his perfect face and made him feel safe. If my life needs to be slower right now to make my children whole and happy, then so be it. There will be plenty of years when the pace picks up again, and I'll be ready for it.

 

The Gallery - An Education

I wasn't going to join in The Gallery this week, too busy to think anything but work - although I guess being a lecturer I could have just posted random images of a work day... - anyway, I didn't and then I remembered I had this. Plus there is a whole old school theme going on so it seemed quite apt! Maybe when I go back to my folks I will get all of my old photos and scan them in and write a blog about life through the eyes of a school photo!



I think I was 6 in this photo. Note the asymmetrical haircuts we all possess. This would be one of the few photos of me wearing anything vaguely girly. I lived in my brothers' cast-off Incredible Hulk and Spiderman t-shirts and denim shorts. My mum used to be so sad that after three boys I wasn't a girly girl! We still lived in Wales at this point and I didn't have a Welch accent... although my older brother was nicknamed Taffy when we moved to England so maybe there was an accent there. I don't have so many memories of Wales; there are the family stories [crazy dogs, running naked, breaking my brothers' arm], the woods behind the house where I could clamber over to my friends' house, my dad taking us for 'spends' every Saturday morning, falling off my bike and scraping the skin off my arms, crying to my mum and telling her I didn't want to leave. We left when I was 8 years old and one week old. We moved to England, where I lived, in various places, for the next 22 years.

I love my brothers. And in case my oldest brother reads this and feels left out [I have three!], I'm going to find a photo of him from school and scan it in too. I'm pretty sure his haircut was *really* trendy in its day :D