One year on. Really?!

In five days I will have been here in the US for one whole year. I can’t really believe that so much time has passed. I vividly remember that last morning in the UK, not being able to move from the bed, not wanting to have to say goodbye to my Mum. Even now as I sit here writing this, my eyes glisten with tears as the feelings of despair and sadness wash over me.

I do miss my Mum. I really do. I miss all of my family. I can’t dwell on it because if I did, I would be unhappy and really, I don’t have a right to be unhappy when I am living such a nice life!

Life here is good. I am doing things I love, bringing up my boys, training to be a Childbirth Educator, setting up my photography business. I have met some fabulous people, and some not so fabulous people. I have been to some amazing places, visited six states, found beautiful parks, and my home feels like a home (albeit messier than I would like…). I have struggled with cultural differences, and laughed at cultural differences. I’ve experienced Fall and Thanksgiving and American Hallowe’en. I’ve discovered that there are hundreds of reasons to celebrate with candy during the school year. I’m figuring out the supermarkets and CSAs and farmers markets. I’m running - a lot! I passed my driving test. I had an American baby! I discovered groups like Frederick Mommies, Mombook, API of Frederick, La Leche League of Frederick, and I joined them all! You could never accuse me of being cliquey :)

The first three months were the loneliest I have ever had. I didn’t know how it ‘worked’ out here. I thought I would never make any friends or be able to have a normal conversation with anyone. I was sad. Then it all started coming together…

So, one year on. I feel lucky. Lucky to have a husband who supports me in all the crazy things I’ve decided to take on; who doesn’t complain when I spend all day looking after children and all night working on photos or coursework. I am lucky to have made some good friends who have seen me laugh and seen me cry. I wish I could move my home nearer to my family. Better still, I wish I could move my family nearer to me!

Spurred on by a Facebook conversation, I decided to start making a list of all the language differences I’ve come across this year. Bear with me, I’m sure I’m missing hundreds of others, but these are the ones that stick in my head!

(In no particular order)

Garden = Yard

Vegetable patch = garden

Boot = trunk

Bonnet = hood
Rubber = eraser
Condom = rubber

Pram = carriage

Buggy = stroller

Pushchair = stroller

Travel cot = pack n play

Activity centre = Excersaucer

Nappies = diapers

Aubergine = eggplant

Coriander = cilantro

Courgette = green squash / zucchini

BBQ = grill

Clothes pegs = clothes pins

Post = mail (people think I’m talking about the Washington Post newspaper if I mention post)

Football = soccer

American football = football (who’d have known!)

Cordial = doesn’t exist!

Zed = zee

Bottom = tush

Bum = butt

Biscuit = Cookie

Dumpling-type thing = biscuit, as in “chicken and biscuit”. I haven’t had it…

Pronunciation:

The completely different pronunciation of certain herbs, with herb itself being ‘erb:

oregano = o-ray-ganno

basil = bay-zle

quinoa = key-noir (had a very puzzled look from a shop assistant when I asked for ki-noah…)

Zebra = zee-bra

Nauseous = Naw-shus

Awesome ONLY sounds cool with an American accent. Fact.

Random musings:

When we first arrived I mentioned to David that there were a LOT of deaf people here. There really are! It took me ten months to realise that the Maryland School for the Deaf is in Frederick… so not just some kind of Martha’s Vineyard then…

Go to the shops / dentist / haircut etc = ‘running errands’

The addition of ‘of’ to a sentence: “take that off of there” “you get off of route 70”

The Lube Center. No matter how many times I drive past it, I still snigger to myself like an adolescent schoolboy. It just sounds so rude. It’s a car shop!

What is the thing with milk? In the UK you have whole milk, semi-skimmed milk and skimmed milk.  Here you have whole milk, 2% milk, 1% milk, some places have skimmed milk, raw milk (illegal in MD). Which one is the same as UK skimmed milk? Probably none of them, I’ve not worked it out yet…

Photography business!

Yes, I went and did it! Now I have four sessions lined up and other possibilities coming together. Exciting times!

Fireflies

Fireflies! What an amazing thing to have discovered in the garden this summer! I proclaimed such a thing on Facebook and a friend sent me a poem she had written about them. Enjoy!

Breastfeeding preparation

I thought I'd post some coursework from the Childbirth Educator course I am currently studying through Birthworks. This is my essay on breastfeeding preparation, focusing on the La Leche League International meetings I regularly attend. Enjoy! :)

There are three main breastfeeding classes running in the Frederick MD area – two La Leche League (LLL) classes (one daytime monthly meeting and one evening monthly meeting) and a weekly class provided by Frederick Memorial Hospital.  I attended all three classes on more than one occasion over the course of six months, both for personal reasons and for research purposes for this assignment.  I would recommend the LLL meetings to all expectant mothers.  The meetings are open to all - expectant women, nursing mothers, mothers who have finished nursing, mothers of nursing mothers, partners.  In keeping with the BirthWorks philosophy, the group believes that breastmilk is the optimum nutrition for a newborn baby and it works hard to help and support women who want to breastfeed, through education, phone support, group meetings and one-on-one help.  They also put a lot of emphasis on the birth and early postnatal period, again agreeing with the BirthWorks philosophy that birth is one of the greatest challenges life has to offer.  They offer an understanding of how birth can affect breastfeeding and they help women who prenatally may be worrying, and postnatally may be suffering the effects of a bad birth experience.

Each meeting started with an overview of the philosophies of the LLL group, before introductions were made. This was a chance to bring up any problems that people wanted to discuss during the meeting.  I enjoyed this way of introducing the group, as everyone got to speak, and the less vocal members of the group had an opportunity to speak out if they wanted to discuss a particular issue or wanted to request help.  Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help, especially in a group situation, and I appreciated the way the leader allowed everyone to have a voice.  These introductions always paved the way for the rest of the meeting.  There was always an issue to discuss, from giving formula under duress in hospital, to low supply, to pumping when going back to work, to struggling with weight gain on a vegan diet.  Every month I learnt something new.  The advice and information given was always easy to understand and people came back to the meeting month after month, including me!

There are so many advantages of breastfeeding including mother-baby bonding; psychological recovery after a difficult birth; boosting the immune system of a newborn; feeding baby with the perfect balance of nutrients, especially made just for them; and ease of use.  Breastfeeding also benefits both the mother and the baby, with rates of certain cancers being significantly reduced in mothers who breastfed their young.  However, even though the ‘breast is best’ motto rings true in most cases, sometimes circumstances prove too difficult for breastfeeding to be established.  Difficulty to establish breastfeeding may come from physical problems in the early days, pressure from doctors to supplement with formula in the hospital after birth, latching issues, and a general lack of education about the ‘norm’ of breastfeeding.  Ailments such as mastitis, blocked ducts and thrush (on baby and/or mother) can deter the breastfeeding relationship and frequent growth spurts in the first six months can become wearing on the mother.  Aside from physical issues, mothers may come across obstacles further down the breastfeeding path, when work beckons, or when partners start to put pressure on them.

According to recent statistics, in 2011 the percentage of babies initially breastfed was 74.6%.  This percentage had dropped to just 44.3% continuing to breastfeed at six months and only 23.8% of babies were still breastfed at 12 months.  I think the three main reasons why breastfeeding rates are so low are: 1. Women are nervous about public reaction, and in some states, probably rightly so. 2. Breastfeeding can be difficult to establish at the beginning. 3. Women go back to work and are unable to pump / have difficulty in pumping and keeping up supply.

During different meetings a common theme that has been explored as an obstacle to breastfeeding has been C-sections.  The separation of mother and baby can have a significant impact on the early breastfeeding relationship and it is important to let women know that they can request to be kept close to their baby, even if they end up in surgery.  Skin-to-skin contact is still possible and every opportunity should be provided to both the mother and baby to allow release of the hormones required for bonding to be established.  The physiology of breastfeeding was also covered in detail.  I learnt a lot about nipples (!) and how the different shapes can affect the latch of the baby, and how different positions can work better depending on your breast size and nipple shape; I also learnt about dietary intolerances, such as lactose intolerance and sensitivities to spices and caffeine; reflux was a common problem experienced by a lot of the mothers at the start of their breastfeeding journeys, some had resolved issues through diet, whilst others nursed their babies sitting upright, all were relieved to hear that reflux tends to diminish by six months and by attending the meetings over this period, I was happy to see this was true!

Another phenomenon, which I hadn’t heard of, was the fact that most breastfeeding latch issues will decrease when the baby’s head grows bigger than the mother’s breast.  As a mother with larger breasts, I’m glad I didn’t have any unresolved issues!

Guest post!

I did a guest post for the lovely Rachel at Mañana Mama!

You can find it here.  Along with others from the Strangers in Strange Lands series she is running. Thanks Rachel!

Summer bucket list 2012!

Inspired by the fabulous Danielle, I decided to write a bucket list for the summer!

The true 'list' will be written on the blackboard wall which we're going to paint in Thomas's playroom (one of the things on the list!), inspired by Jack at Chicken and Custard who did one last year... Thanks Jack :)

Photos to follow...

Welcome to the Summer

I don't find much time to post right now. Two babies, coursework, reviewing papers, checking PhD chapters, visits from family, breaking air conditioning, growing vegetables (attempting)...

Anyway, here are my photo selections from May!  We came back from the UK and then went away on a mini-break for a week.  We went to Deep Creek Lake in West Maryland and had the best time!  We came back and then I seemed to be rushing round preparing for my brother Nick arriving with his family at the start of June.  They have just left, David has gone to Japan, and I can finally breathe... albeit very hotly as the A/C unit is bust.

The weather here is AMAZING.  I would love it a little bit more if I wasn't so hot today.  It's a proper summer, with the swimming pool at Spring Ridge open and washing drying outside in about half an hour.  The best thing?  It won't only last a week!  It'll be like this for the next couple of months!  Wow.  If only the mosquitos would leave me alone...

Tyler turned six months this weekend.  Six months!  I remember that time flew with Thomas. By this time I knew I was going back to work in another couple of months and every moment was precious.  This time I don't have to leave and go to work!  Every moment is still precious to me.  The boys get on so great together.  Tyler loves Thomas so much.  Sometimes you can hear Tyler laughing, just so happy if Thomas is paying him some attention.  I hope they are always friends.

Love love love being a mum of two.  Life is pretty good right now...