Monday, January 9, 2012

One month on...

Tyler is one month old tomorrow! How time flies.
I could make this post all about breastfeeding. I am hugely proud of the fact that I have managed to establish breastfeeding this time round. Some of you know I really struggled with Thomas (as I spoke about here), and I then struggled with the guilt of not having breastfed him… I can honestly say that now I have managed to breastfeed, I am totally over any residual guilt I felt about Thomas! Tyler had a great latch from the outset (unlike Thomas) and I still really struggled in the first few weeks. The first week was hell as my milk didn't truly kick in until day 4 and this 10lb 3oz baby jumped out of the womb screaming for milk! I hibernated and stayed in bed with Tyler for three days (thank you wonderful midwives for insisting I must!), breastfeeding hurt and it was constant. It is still pretty constant but it doesn't hurt any more. My nipples were cracked and sore but never bled like they did with Thomas. This time round I had a lot of people to talk to and I was psychologically prepared for it being hard and constant, and still, it was harder than I had ever imagined, and I'd already been through it once! I think without Soothies, breast shields, Lansinoh and My Brest Friend, I would have given up. But I didn't! Go me :)
This time round I didn't get the 'baby blues' like I had with Thomas. I was very fortunate for my Mum & Dad to be around for the first week as well as David. My Mum did everything for me; washing, cooking, cleaning, and helped in so many ways that I will be eternally grateful for. Dad was around to entertain Thomas, which was great, especially when David went out. I was so sad when they had to leave but thankfully this time round I had recovered from the birth and felt I could manage (with Thomas she left after three days as Christmas was fast approaching and I was so unprepared for her leaving!). David made me breakfast in bed every day and looked after Thomas. Antonette took my placenta and made it into capsules for me to take each day to balance the hormones… I was completely cared for and had a brilliant babymoon. [except for the painful boobs!]
It seems my hormonal surges come in the form of feeling extreme guilt towards Thomas. So much time is spent nursing and I struggled with how little time I had left for Thomas. He has adapted so well and loves his baby brother so much. I am incredibly lucky to have such a loving son and his reaction to Tyler has made the transition to a family of four so much easier. I just have my moments where I feel guilty that he didn't ask for his world to be changed so completely. He was quite happy to be the centre of attention for his Mummy and Daddy! I know he wouldn't change it for the world and I am the one who feels guilty, not because of anything Thomas has said or done, just because it's my way of dealing with the shock of introducing another person to our family!
The actual part about having a new baby is easy! Been there, done that. Cloth nappies are back in action, the Ergo is out, the exercise ball is getting used more now than during pregnancy, the Tummy Tub is in use. Tyler is like a mini-Thomas and freakily looks so similar sometimes. I still find myself calling him Thomas occasionally!
So, one month on… David has gone back to work, my boobs finally don't hurt, Tyler is thriving, Thomas is beautiful, I'm very tired from 4pm until bedtime, and then through the night if Tyler doesn't sleep! We're getting out a bit more and I'm feeling more confident about being a mummy of two…

If I'm being completely honest, I love it. This is what I was born to do :)


  1. awwww what a positive and in spiring post Lindsey. you are doing amazingly well and i am jealous of how well you are coping. i still feel i don't all the time!
    as always your photos are beautiful and really show you as a picture of happiness and family love - as a family of four. and i never knew you could turn the placenta into hormone balancing tablets!!! i will have to check that link out
    keep yup the good work you seem to be doing fantastically well xx

  2. oh and i still get guilt about Burton - nit as much as i did i the early weeks but for different reasons now like he wants me to do something with him but i can't because Jenson needs supervising (especially now he is mobile on his tummy!). but then i also feel guilty to Jenson as he doesn't get the one on one time that his brother did and i rush through things with him more. i think it will probably always be a bit like that though and it probably normal to feel like it. xx

  3. Thanks Jenny! I really don't cope all the time, but I like to view the world positively :).

    There is a lot of anecdotal evidence about eating the placenta. I don't know if it helped but I definitely had less breakdowns in the first couple of weeks!

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels guilty! It's silly really as Thomas loves having a brother but I can see he struggles sometimes when I can't help him. I guess it's a learning curve for all of us :)

  4. Beautiful! I'm so glad Tylers babymoon period has been gentle on you all and you have had wonderful support. Your boys are indeed v v alike!


  5. You are a superwoman! Love this bit especially:

    "If I'm being completely honest, I love it. This is what I was born to do"

    Totally, totally agree with you. Quotes like that are why I always leave your posts feeling inspired :)

    Enjoy your early weeks with Tyler - what a gorgeous pair of boys you have - you must be so proud.

  6. Thanks Rachel!

    I don't think I'm superwoman a lot of the time but we're muddling our way through these early weeks... :) x

  7. Great post and I love the picture of you breastfeeding while eating your dinner - so familiar!


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